Never Ending, Never Lasting

Chapter 2.

("Am I enough?" He calls out, but to no reply)

To say the least, it was a struggle to stay focused for Raph. Only two years after the Kraang attacked but yet he is still trying to heal. In fact, Raph believes the whole team is trying to heal. Maybe thats why he didn't yell at them like he usually does for when they had to go on patrol.

Raph never stopped being a mother hen, the big brother- the one who thinks its all on him. He's never the best when it comes to his own mental problems- perhaps the thought of worrying about his own self made him feel guilt. But because of that mindset he has placed upon himself he done many scary selfless sacrifices.

He never realized that he gave his brothers trauma- and lets be glad. If he did find out about that truth, well least to say: he would be sulking in his room hours at end.

Raph understood what trauma was after he saw how Donnie reacts most of the time. Out of all the brothers, Donnie was the worst trying to hide the fact he held terrible memories of the Kraang. But the others understood how Donnie doesn't like being the center of attention when it came to his personal feelings.

Raph...is slowly trying to recognize that factor. For now, all he can do is think about his beloved brothers. What they could be doing right now, playing on games- maybe watching another Lou Jitsu movie. Anything to get his mind off the horrible sensation of wet, slimy tentacles attracting into his eyes and into his brain.

A cold shiver striked down his spine, his face scrunched up at the thought.

Damn it Raph, he think to himself
You did it again...

Maybe if he focused on his brothers more- if he could finally figure out what was wrong with each of them they all could go back to being normal. They could be happy, smiling and laughing- instead of lounging in the cold eriee room that held nothing but the horrible comfort of silence.

It wasn't the same anymore. It never will be the same. The only thing familiar to Raph is his poor self control of emotions- even if it hurt him, the pain was something that gave him warmth; comfort. While wasting his days trying to patch a hole....or as the saying goes, digging his own grave

Raph never wanted to accept the flaws- never wanted to think his strong family could break and still be breaking over the years.

We can't ever fall. He'd say to himself, We're the Hamato family!

But even he couldn't help and pause to think; were we truly strong? A flash of guilt drowned it, placing a hand on his head as he sighed. Why would he think that? Of course they are! But just like us, Raph's doubting thoughts found ways to slip through his strong hold. Like a ravinous snake hunting for its prey in the winter cold.

He tried desperately to calm down, but his thoughts ran and ran. And the one running in his breaking mind was none other than Leo. Oh poor Leo- he was hit most brutally physically. A broken shell that is still healing- cracked and bruised. Raph hated the vison of the ruined Leo.

Leo speaks so weirdly now- so,, odd. Raph didn't understand that when you get hit brutally in the head multiple times it can cause effects. Doesn't help the fact Leo is now suffering with short-term memory loss. Well- there was another word to it. But frankly Raph couldn't handle those thoughts.