I'll See You In Nirvana

OF MAGIC AND LEGENDS

As we continued traveling toward our destination, we'd every so often pass what looked like an intensely recent battlefield covered in blood but with no bodies. At one point, we set up camp near a shallow river and found it running red with blood in the morning. It looked like a sign of growing danger or even a secret war started but since there were no bodies, we couldn't tell for sure what was really happening.

At some point, we entered a dramatically colder environment. I didn't have any warmer clothes, so I just balled up my fists and folded my arms while Caia swapped to a thick dark dress with lighter-colored fluff across the seams. Aislin and Erin didn't seem to be bothered by the cold in the least and dressed no differently than normal. Eventually, we got used to the cold. We had no choice but to.

My conversations with Tsenpress evolved from pure torture and abuse to more civil conversations. While she'd waste no time causing me physical harm if I let my guard down, our talks were more or less civil. While they were just as uncommon as our previous encounters, we seemingly talked about nothing. She'd bring up some obscure legend or folktale and I'd pretend to know what she was talking about to avoid her ire. She referred to me as 'little girl', and to my inner voice as 'Nirvana'. I had to swap accordingly and respond to keep her content and benevolent.

At some point during one of our conversations, she slipped out of her own delusions. We were sitting by the lake in the field of flowers overlooked by the giant tree when she reached over and grabbed my shoulder with an unexpected grip.

"Hey, you're not really Nirvana, are you? You don't even know what's going on and you're just saying what you think I want to hear so I don't hurt you, right?"

I stared at her, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Feeling that it was my chance to truly reason with her, I tried to say something but before my mind could even make up what to say; she continued.

"What am I saying, of course, you're Nirvana. You couldn't be anyone else or you wouldn't be here." She continued to laugh it off, and I felt like I missed out on a real opportunity. Even so, I understood something at that moment. A feeling that had been creeping up on me as if the emotion was mine; I now understood came, instead, from her.

Not thinking, I reached forward and took her in my arms, and held her close. Almost instantly, warning signs started blaring in my head but before I could react, I felt a sharp pain pierce through my chest. I couldn't tell just how deep it went until I coughed and saw red.

"It's like you forget what happens every time," said Tsenpress, casually. "You should know that I don't like hugs by now. More than that, you should know I hate when you try to pity me. You don't have power here." She pulled the object from my chest and I fell backward on the ground. "You can just lie there and reflect on your mistakes for a while."

Unable to speak, I could only cough as I drowned in my own blood until I awoke.

Like any other time I woke up in my tent after something traumatizing, I checked my body for any new marks but found nothing. I sighed quietly and dressed myself. All the while, everything seemed more quiet than normal. Taking a slow look around, I noticed a small figure in the corner of my tent. Someone was sitting there. I thought I didn't wake up until I slowly started to recognize the figure.

"Endling?" I said, squinting to get a better look.

"In the flesh," she said, becoming clearer in my vision. "You've been suffering while I've been gone?"

Not completely understanding what she meant, I said, "No, not really," attempting to hide my surprised stutter.

She sighed knowingly. "You just came back from one of those 'experiences', didn't you?"