I'll See You In Nirvana

DIVINE CONTEST

I tried my best to keep my mind as empty as possible now that Caia could hear my outward thoughts. Instead of being as cautious and distant as she had been, she started being much more forward, open, and friendly. It was definitely because she now believed I was a god. She played music more often and actively started conversations with me. She showed a thin veil of innocence that barely hid the results of her promiscuous lifestyle.

While she couldn't move around much on her own for a couple of days, she spared no expense on making sure the rest of us were up in spirits. To that effort, she'd hum a tune to the soft strokes of her guitar as we traveled throughout the day.

Ever since she got injured until her wounds healed, I had no trouble staying awake at night. My private thoughts turned to the god probably living deep inside her. Maybe it was the reason I stayed sleepy at night and injuring its vessel weakened it to where it had no effect on me. Regardless, I was glad that so much time passed without being forced into another nightmare of cruelty.

During that time, I also went back to dreaming regularly. I had almost forgotten that I could dream. Those dreams were all incoherent, but every time, I gained some sort of insight that seemed all too natural to have. It was as if, little by little, my mind was pried open. Sometimes, it felt like I was listening to a story told in a gentle voice as I watched the story unfold before my eyes, unable to remember any of it but still retaining the knowledge. Most of it had nothing to do with me but the little that did, confused me more than anything.

Every so often, Aislin, Erin, and Caia would cast sensory spells to see if anyone other than us were around. Now that we knew that they knew where we were, we couldn't take any chances.

The way we went seemed to bypass a slew of towns as we traversed the grasslands, hills, and occasional forest. Eventually, we found a river and by then, we were low on supplies. Taking the little time we had to fish for food, Aisln invited me to keep watch while Erin helped Caia with her bandages so she could get back on her feet properly.

"I've been wondering about something," said Aislin, staring out across the dense grassland with his eyes sparkling magic. "You are Nirvana, that's no lie, but why did you lie about our customs?"

"I know," I said, preparing to unload just a little off my chest. "There's nothing wrong with being a harlot. That being said, she still reacted like it was a bad thing."

"Maybe she just thought you were disappointed with her- wait, is there more to this that I don't know?"

"Tsenpress, immortal serpent of rebirth and child of Ouroboros. That's who's after me."

"What?" he sounded as if he was having trouble believing his ears. "Your memories have returned? Do you finally acknowledge your divinity?"

Taking a deep breath, I sighed. "There was never any doubt about me being a god... Especially given everything that happened."

"Then why suddenly change your mind about claiming not to be a god now?"

"To be totally honest with you, I'm still not sure I'm even alive, but there's one thing I'm sure of. Well, two things. One is that the serpent is using Caia in some way. The other is that I'm not the Nirvana you all think I am."

"I don't understand."

"I hope you will. I have something to tell you." Making sure not to think too hard about what I wanted to say, I made sure my private thoughts stayed private as I told Aislin about my experiences. The whole time, I made sure neither Erin nor Caia could listen in from a distance.

After I finished, he said, "Understood. What do we do?"

"I don't know, but if I am alive, I don't want to die." I didn't realize how scared I was until I said that. I was shaking and my breathing had become ragged.