Dysfunctional Smiles

A Pen and a Piece of Paper

Guitarist

"She's wearing that contagious smile again."

I like Mondays even though everyone seemed to hate it. Well, it is because I get to see her in the library. Last Friday, the last time I saw her, she saw me staring and then she waved. I was so embarrassed yet I was glad because she looked, waved and smiled at me. That was the first time I saw her did that, she really smiled.

"It's not a real smile but it's not a fake smile either, it's just... mechanical."

Today I noticed, as I handed her my bag, that she has that same mechanical smile again. It's a mechanical smile because they are "instructed" to smile. They must smile to every people they meet to look approachable. Their smiles don't look fake because maybe they're enjoying it but I know that their smiles aren't real either because they are just instructed to do so.

"I WANT to talk to her."

"No... I WILL talk to her."

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Baggage Handler

He's here again, but this time he didn't even look at me or I didn't see him look at me. I don't even know why that matter's but I admit, I like the way he stared with his gem-like eyes. I can't even explain how his eyes are beautiful but they're just.... beautiful.

His eyes make him look more charming.

He's very charming even though I barely see him smile.

It doesn't really matter because even though I barely see him smile, I can see that he's not sad. I think he's one of those guys that doesn't want to show their feelings. But his eyes doesn't allow that, his eyes are his weakness. His eyes are like open books, you can see through them and read them.

He's looking at me.

He's coming for his bag.

I gave him the number 27

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Guitarist

I feel nervous as I approached her because this is my first attempt on trying to talk to her. Unbelievably, I've been playing scenarios in my head on what's going to happen if I approach her:

1. She might ignore me while she shows a disgusted face.

2. She might smile but will eventually turn me down. Or...

3. She might like me too, well at least I have hope.

Have you ever tried talking to your crush for the first time? I think all "firsts" are risks, do you agree? But I'm ready, I still don't know what to say but I know I can talk to her this time.

"Number 27"

I noticed that she always gave me this number, I don't know if it's coincidental or she does it on purpose every time. This is the reason why I have little hope that she might actually like me. Little hope... or... false hope.

"Is this her way of letting me know that she remembers me?"

"I might actually have a chance."

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Baggage Handler

As he approached me, I checked where I left his bag. I checked where it was so that I won't make a fool of myself when he comes here.

Have you ever confronted a guy who you have a crush on, and your brain immediately reprograms itself, and you become... 1. Self-conscious 2. Sloppy 3. Nervous? But if you try to fight those three you just become as stiff as a pole.

He seemed very different today... his mixed shy-confident aura is gone.

He looks nervous.

He handed me the number, the number 27, and I gave him his bag. Usually he would just go and leave but this time... he paused. He looked at his bag.

Is something wrong? Did I damage his bag?

He then turned around and walked towards the exit.

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Guitarist

"What's wrong with me?"

Dammit! Have you ever experienced that? You think you're ready but when you're finally there, you suddenly realize that you're not. That's embarrassing.

"Wait..."

"I must go back."

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Baggage Handler

He's coming back

I've always wanted to talk to him, have a nice conversation with him but this is not the right time. I can see in his eyes that he's not going to let his opportunity slip away. He looks so sure now, so sure that he'll get an answer or a response from me. This is not the right time.

Please don't....

Don't talk to me

He approached me and said...

"Hey, I'm Joshvin." He said, I smiled and gestured a "hi" with my hand.

"What's your name?" He asked.

I froze; I don't know what to do. I scrambled for words as I scrambled for a pen and a piece of paper. I found a pen but there's no paper. When I found a piece of paper then I realized that the pen has no ink.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I just embarrassed myself didn't I?" He sighted

No, you didn't. I thought, I tried to stop him but he was already turning away.

"You could've at least told me that you're not interested instead of busying yourself." He ended and left.

Hear me out! I thought.

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Guitarist

"I expected too much."

"She was rude and I feel insulted."

"I'm never going back."

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Baggage Handler

My last thought made me more miserable. Hear me out. I realized how ironic that was because I am unable to let myself be heard. Not that it's my choice, I just really can't. My smile can never make a sound.

Let me explain. I corrected myself, my thoughts

I wish we could talk.

That would be easier.

Will he ever come back? I'll be prepared with my pen and paper by then.