Who You Are

Chapter 7

I shook out the lit match, breathing deeply as a flickering flame started to melt the coffee-scented wax.

I'd seriously overslept this morning. Madelyn had already left for her day, and Mark (who always woke up later than me) was nowhere to be found. And I hated sleeping late, especially when I had so many things going on, but after the last couple of weeks, I guess my body needed it. Which meant I needed all the help I could get if I was going to get through this.

The candle, paired with a steaming mug of coffee, would hopefully do the trick. With my notes and my textbook all spread out on the counter, I was ready to start the studying I should've started last week for my exam in a few days.

I was trying not to be anxious that I was already so behind, hence the candle.

Not only was it hard to focus these days thanks to my fuckboy of an ex—which was still weird to say—but someone was always around.

And by someone, I meant Mark.

Which...I didn't completely mind. It just—it had come out of nowhere. I couldn't tell if he actually liked hanging out with me, or if he just knew I was having trouble being alone. But he was always there when Maddie wasn't. And even when she was.

He hung out with us when we bullshitted every night. And when Maddie was working, he kept me company. He distracted my from my work, sure, but he also distracted me from all the emotions I was still grappling with from the breakup.

It probably wasn't the healthiest route to take in getting over Bryan, but at this point, I didn't care.

I liked Mark, I was finding. He was genuinely good company, and surprisingly easy to talk to, because he could talk about anything. He was always down to watch cooking shows with me, which meant that we talked a lot about food. Then he'd watch me cook, and we'd get into other things: school and work, mostly, but also the kind of music we liked, whether a hot dog was a sandwich, our favorite movies, how we took our coffee, where we got our coffee—you get the idea.

I was getting to know Mark more than I'd ever had the chance to before, and I liked him. He made me smile and laugh, even when we disagreed (which we did about most things, including whether a hot dog was sandwich), and I needed all the smiling and laughter I could get. And ever since he'd helped me in that situation with Bryan last week, I was grateful to him in a way I couldn't even begin to explain, or even fully understand.

I didn't know why he was willing to spend so much time with me, or why he was taking an interest in me now, after all these years, but I tried not to question it.

After sleeping through my alarm, which was rare, I'd woken up ten minutes ago to an empty apartment. Mark wasn't here, which was good, and Maddie was off to Rockefeller Center to see Harry perform on the Today Show—which was another situation I couldn't exactly wrap my head around. It was late enough that I'd likely missed the performance, but it was tempting to turn on the TV and put off studying for another hour so I could watch, maybe even spot her somewhere in the crowd. But I'd recorded it so I could watch later, and I knew she'd more than likely bring Harry back here afterwards. I had to make the most of the alone time while I could.

This test was a big one—my first Anatomy exam this semester, and I had to know all the bones and muscles by heart. I hadn't even begun to make flashcards, which was always my first stop when studying. I figured once I had the names and definitions down, then I'd use Maddie later to start identifying them on the body. She wouldn't like it, but she'd get over it.

I was sipping coffee and making progress fifteen minutes later, feeling confident about the bones as I wrote them out on flashcards, when the lock sounded on the door.