Who You Are

Chapter 10

Winter break meant nearly a month off from school, but more hours at work, and with Maddie gone, that was fine by me. 

Doctor Greenberg was a general practitioner, and a good one, so she was booked from the moment she opened at nine in the morning all the way to closing. Regularly scheduled appointments, and emergency ones, too. With a good amount of opportunity for me to observe her with patients when they were okay with it.

But since it was the week between Christmas and New Year's, and as the only staff member without a spouse and a family, I was in demand at the reception desk for my entire shift.

Phone call after phone call. Cancellations. Emergency appointments. Bloodwork questions. Greeting patients. New patient intake forms. Calls to insurance companies. Copays... 

The list went on.

When it was time for me to leave, my coworker, Sandy, an older woman who lived alone, took over the desk. I was wiped. And eager to get home.

Mark was at the office today. Maddie was in England.

I unlocked the door to an empty apartment, knowing I'd have a few hours to myself.

And I smiled.

Maddie had been gone for three days, and from what she'd told me, they were having a great time and Harry's family was super nice. She'd been nervous, but I knew they would be. A guy as sweet and humble as Harry doesn't come from a family of assholes.

But I understood her fear. It was never easy meeting the family. When I'd met Bryan's for the first time, it was a lot more informal—as most high school relationships are. His parents came to his basketball game one night, and I was there with friends. After the game, Bryan introduced me. Not as his girlfriend, which irked me even then, but as a friend. I wasn't sure he'd ever outright told them I was his girlfriend. But when I started showing up at their house all the time, they probably put it together.

They were nice people, his family. His mom, Janet, and his dad, Tom. His younger brother, Tommy, and older sister, Lynn. Always warm and welcoming to me.

I wondered what they thought of the breakup. I'd felt like part of the family for so long because they'd treated me like a family member. They had to think it strange I wasn't around anymore. It was strange not seeing them. Not hearing from Lynn to run and get our nails done, or Janet about a family party coming up.

There was more than one break in this breakup. It was more like a shattering. And even a couple months later, I felt like I was still sweeping up the pieces.

There was nothing more I wanted to do than drop onto the couch, turn the TV on, and watch what I wanted to watch without Mark chattering in my ear.

But as I set my bags down and kicked off my shoes, readying myself to change out of work clothes, I also knew I could use a good stretch.

It wasn't easy to get yoga in with Mark always around. He was a pain in the ass always, but especially when I was doing anything that didn't include him. I could easily imagine what he'd be like if I said I was going to do some yoga.

He'd either sit and watch and comment on everything, or he'd try to join me. And honestly, I wasn't sure which would be worse.

But as I changed into workout clothes, I knew, deep down, which of the two made me more uneasy.

In the few days since Maddie had left, things carried on as usual between Mark and I. But there was something different too. Where things had started to feel really comfortable with him, something had turned. Rippled almost. Like a wrinkle I couldn't smooth out.