All I feel right now is pain and heartache to be honest. I blew up on the people I love. Today was supposed to be great. Maybe a movie or at least a call. I don't want our friendship to end again because they are such good people and they make me smile and I can't take another loss of a friend. If dying from heart break is a thing then I think I'm just about there. They were there for me always. Five years I don't want that to be for nothing. I really love them they are my comfort person. Right now I'm sitting here listening to music. I'm truly sorry for hurting people. I was working so hard but I guess I'm just not meant to be near people. I feel like nothing I do is ever really good enough for people. Not my parents, not my cousins, not my friends. Oh and I wish I was skinnier..that may seem dumb to include but people don't like others who are different or overweight. I wish I had the right body. I wish I didn't have anxiety depression adhd and paranoia. I wish I was born normal. Yeah I guess that's it for today
