Anima: The Bird House

Chapter 18

I tried to wipe my eyes, but even that was near impossible. I wanted nothing more than to slam my hands against the table, do something to let out my emotions. Anger, grief, sadness, pain.

I stood up from the couch, walked toward the door, and stopped mid-way across the room. I unfolded my wings and gave them a large, rigid flap. The force pushed me closer to the wall behind me, and the muscles in my chest pulled tight. I took a deep breath and forced it back out as hard and fast as possible.

"KEEE-AHHHHH," I screeched before taking another breath and repeating. "KEEEE-AHHHHH" As I went to take another, my breath was broken up. I folded my wings tight, fell to my knees, and rolled onto my side. Crying as well as a hawk could, I wanted nothing more than for it all to stop. I tucked my head under my right wing and tried to hide from it all.

"Lyall?" Rylie called out. "Everything is going to be okay. But I need you to try and calm down, and this isn't going to help you right now," She said.

Wouldn't help? Nothing seems to help, and I get myself worked up just to bring on more changes. What's stopping me from ending it here? I could end the stress and worry if I had given in.

Darren did it.

Damien did it.

Benji did it.

I could do it.

I SHOULD do it.

"Lyall! Snap out of it, kid!" Rylie shouted.

I opened my eyes to see. A mess of feathers surrounded my head as I lifted my head out from under my wing. Looking around the room, and everyone was watching me, waiting for my next move. I made a huge scene and made myself look like an utter fool. A hawk, a fierce predator, curled up on the floor, crying to himself. I tried to situate myself back onto my feet, a struggle without hands. Once on my knees, Rylie and Matthew assisted me to my feet.

"I'm... sorry about that," I said quietly.

Nash quickly responded, "Sorry? For what? You have nothing to be sorry about."

As I collected myself, I still had thoughts lingering in my head. They did not seem to be my own, but they felt right, even if I knew they weren't.

Give in.

Let the changes finish.

Embrace it.

I ignored the thoughts as best as I could. But they were persistent, constantly filling my head. Even though it's entirely against how I would think, my mind WANTED to finish.

I inspected my wings, and the feathers had fully gown in. The back sides are covered in shades of black, brown, and white. My muscles had changed. Stronger muscles connected my wings to my chest, and They would flex as I pushed my wings forward. Slowly my body had begun preparing itself for flight.

I looked about the room at all the faces watching me. "I think I'm gonna sleep this off," I said, unsure.

"Is that a good idea?" Matthew asked, "Are you sure you are thinking straight?"

"Yeah, no, maybe?" I answered, "This is different. He's not trying to take over. He's just here now."

"He?" Matthew asked, confused. "Who is He?"

"The hawk. He's here, and he wants me to change," I said.

Matthew looked at the others, confused. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I feel fine," I said flatly. "Good night, all," I said as I started up the stairs. Careful as I could not use the handrails. I opened my door with my wings and laid on the bed. I had no desire to get under the blankets, and laying on them was okay. I closed my eyes and drifted off.