Clexa - One shots

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NON-AU

(This isn't gonna make any sense cause I stopped watching the show after Lexa's scene in season 4. I only came back to Lexa's scenes in season 7. All I know is that there's someone who faced Clarke in Lexa's image so I'll basically be making it up as I go based on the very little info I have.)

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I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you

Clarke had her heart stolen by a green-eyed brunette more than a hundred years ago. And she never got it back. Truth told she didn't want it back. She walks around, heartless, hoping someday she'll reunite with the person who holds that missing part of her.

Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

She could've never in her life predicted just how much the brunette girl would mean to her. With her stoic demeanor and her eyes that always gave her away, and her scarce smile that was always and only reserved for her.

Although she never got to say it, Clarke knew she loved her. With every hidden glance and uncertain touch, every shaky kiss., every sacrifice she made, and with the way she bowed to Clarke with absolute surrender vowing her loyalty, Clarke knew what it meant. Her eyes screamed to Clarke the way her mouth could never allow her to do. It's as if to say 'I belong to you', and Clarke belonged to her too.

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
I would have known what I was living for all along

And now many years later, she could still recall every detail with such vividness when she closes her eyes. If only for a moment, she could pretend she was back at Polis with her. And in her fantasies, she never left. She never went into that room. She never watched Lexa get shot. She never held Lexa and wept as she breathed her last breath. No. In her mind, Lexa lived. And she lived a long life. A peaceful life. And she lived it with Clarke.

Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain

She always had a complicated relationship with these fantasies. Because on one hand, she gets to see Lexa again. In all her glory. And on the other, it stands as a painful reminder that that's all it is. Fantasies. Because she did leave. She did go into that room. She did watch Lexa get shot. And she did hold Lexa in her arms as she died.

Now she lives holding on to these memories like a lifeline. Blindly hoping that someway, somehow, she'll see Lexa again. And not in a memory.

Clarke was walking around with Picasso when he suddenly ran off. Clarke called after him but he kept running. As the fear of being left alone set in, Clarke ran after him.

"Picasso!" She shouted after the relentless dog to try and make him stop, but to no avail. She stopped running once she finally stopped ignoring her lungs screaming at her for oxygen.

She stood there, breathing. Trying to imagine how she'll live the rest of her life alone.

"You don't have to." She heard that all too familiar voice say. She turned to the direction the voice came from and was hit by green eyes that evoked a million different emotions from her, but she kept them in. Because she knew it wasn't her. She knew that.

"You can read my mind now?" She said annoyed as she went and started walking in the other direction. Hoping a little space from the imposter pretending to be the love of her life could somehow relieve the pain she suddenly felt in her chest.

"No. I just always knew what you were thinking from the look on your face. We always understood each other like no one else understood us." The woman following her spoke. She stopped walking. She stopped too. Everything suddenly stopped. Her entire being told her not to hope. That the sincerity and longing that she heard from the woman's voice was nothing but a figment of her imagination. One of her fantasies. But she couldn't stop herself. For she'd jump at any chance of getting her Lexa back.