Crooked Amare {Crooks x Reader}

Brunch With Da Bois

~(Y/N)'s POV~

I got off the couch as Sans walked down with Papyrus, the latter forcing him to dress nice. "The hell are we dressed so fancy? I hate fuckin' ties..." "Well, don't fuck ties, then." "LANGUAGE, BROTHER!" "Wait, yer not gonna yell at (Y/N)?!" "No...They're Nice To Me...AND THEY CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES, UNLIKE YOU, YOU DAMN SLOB!" I sighed as the two started bickering. They were lucky I was in a good mood for the most part, or I'd just go by myself. I opened my phone and pressed 'Call'.

'Ring ring....ring ring...ring ri- Lily's Café, this is Mandy speaking.' "Heya Mandy, this is (Y/N). I'm friends with the owner. Would you put her on?" 'Sure thing, Mx! ...Lily's Café, Lily speaking.' "Hey asshole. I'm stopping by with a couple of boneheads." Papyrus and Sans were looking at me with their jaws basically on the floor. 'What the- (Y/N)!! We haven't talked in so long! Yes, come as soon as you can! Let them know to put you in the VIP area!' "Sure, bye then." I hung up and cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"YER AN ASSHOLE!" "BROTHER, DON'T USE SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE!! But...That Was Rather Rude, (Y/N)..." "Nah, don't worry, Papy! Lily's my childhood best friend- she knows I'm teasing!" Papy sighed and offered a big ole smile, while Sans seemed a bit uneasy. "Ya...Ya think she'll be okay wit...a coupla monsters..?" "Yeah, she's too stupid to be racist, even if she tries...like that time with the fucking state test- (This is a specific incident no one will get. There's no context. Lily, if you see this. Fuck you. Love you, but fuck you. Love Fuck. Wait that's weird...FUCK YOU!) "

"...um-" "Don't worry about it, guys! Anyways, let's go!" I skipped out of the house, excited to see my long lost best friend. She happened to be on the ass end of my breakup with them, so I ghosted her for a while. I'm just...glad she still cares... (See, Lily? I love you, asshole. A lot. Fuck you.) We piled into my car, this time with Papyrus in the back so he could stretch his legs a bit. "Is that any better, Papy?" "M-MUCH, THANK YOU..." "Ugh, gross. Just cuz yer Soulmates dundn't mean ya gotta love each other..." 

"Huh?" "Ya can be platonic Soulmates." Wait...that makes sense. I wonder which Papyrus would prefer. Me? I don't really have a preference. I mean, he's a big softball with the cutest personality, but I'd be fine either way. "So, Sans..." "Mm?" "Do...you have your Soulmate?" Sans started choking on air, alarming Papyrus. "U-Uh, I don't think so..," he said, which made me think he had...but he was giving me this look. The look of 'shut your fucking mouth or else'. Oh, he did  have his Soulmate, he just didn't want Papyrus to know! Makes sense- I don't want Ren knowing...

We parked and walked into the fancy café, looking around. "Hello, welcome to Lily's Café, do you ha- AH!" The lady shrieked upon seeing our group. I could only imagine why. I stormed over to her, grabbed a menu, and smacked her in the face. "You better watch it, cunt. I can get you fired with a flick of my wrist." "W-Wh-" "(Y/N)!!" Lily ran out, wrapping her arms around me. "Hey, Lilikins! You know, this hostess...she hurt my feelings. Screamed at me." 

Lily glared at the hostess, jutting her thumb towards the back. The hostess looked terrified. "Oh, don't fire her, Lily. Just make sure she...pays for it." "I'm not killing my staff." "Ugh, whatever..." Lily and I smiled and laughed together before she gestured me to the VIP area. I motioned for the skelebros to follow, who did, despite seeming weary. The room was silent, with no one else around. I sat down at a booth, leaving the skeletons standing awkwardly. "C'mon, sit, you two!"

Lily turned to see them and, while she was shocked, beamed with joy. "Oh, you're monsters! Well, I'm Lily, (Y/N)'s best friend! And you are?" The two froze up and looked at me, making me chuckle a bit. "The tall one is Papyrus, the ugly one is Sam." Sans seemed to actually take offense, making me back pedal a bit. "I'm messing with you. The other one is Sans. They don't talk much around humans...at least, ones they don't know." 

Lily smiled in understanding. "Well, just have (Y/N) text me with your orders and I'll make them top priority! The benefits of having me as your best friend!" Lily walked out, leaving me and the awkward skeletons. "Um...boys?" "T-Thank ya...fer um...ya know..." "Yes, Thank You, (Y/N)..." I felt my heart skip a beat at the two's cute shenanigans. "Of course. I know you guys are still weary about humans. Besides, that's what friends are for, right?" 

Sans offered a small smile and Papyrus made that noise. Okay, last time. "What the hell is that?!" "WHAT?" "That noise you make!" "...NYEH?" "Yeah, that!" Sans chuckled. "It's his thing, he does it all tha time. Ya already annoyed with it? Try livin' with him fer fuckin' thirty years." Papyrus started yelling, which lead to the two arguing. Honestly, these two act like a couple of kids...I eventually got them settled down enough to order, and then texted the order to Lily. She was back quickly ang then silently gave us the food.

They both hesitated and stared at me. "...What?" "We're uh...waitin'.." "For...what?" "For You To Start Eating..." Okay, weirdos. Maybe they though Lily would poison them or something? I took a bite of my french toast and then the two started digging in. Jeez, if it was poison, they would be dead. Morons. But...I guess they're my morons now huh?

Sorry for the short chapter, I lost motivation on this

Date: 10/25/22 01:56

Word Count: 964