MadCom x Readers catharsis- requests temp closed

"Every step of the way"|SanfordxTransMasc!Reader

a Sanford x TransMasc reader, specifically ftm. requested by L0V3S1CK_4DD1CT, thank you for being my first requester and i hope the wait was well worth it!! in the plot, the reader and Sanf were dating beforehand, so this isn't a platonic story. Also srry for some amounts of angst and if it feels too real, i may or may not have projected onto reader at least a little ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶.
anyways thx, n i hope it's worth the read! <3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I just.. I-I don't know how to tell him, and I'm scared.. what if he doesn't accept me..? What if he doesn't love me anymore..?" head held low, arms crossed over your chest. You've been in this mental rut for awhile now, the loop never ending.

'What if I tell him and he doesn't love me anymore? What if he breaks up with me over it? What if he hates me, or- or even if he tries to stay with me and says he loves me, he really doesn't? What if... What if...'

You felt a hand on your shoulder. It was Deimos, your friend and basically your brother. He was the first person you had told when struggling with your identity. As you both were part of the A.A.H.W. and defected to be part of S.Q., you always had each others backs in any situation, and now was no different. You heard him take a drag from his cigarette.

"I get it.. it's tough, but y'gatta believe me, Sanf ain't like that."--he flicked the butt of his cigarette to knock off some ash--"Somethin' about him just tells me that, y'know?" He took another drag and pulled you into more of a side hug. It's nice getting to tell someone, but it still feels like something's missing. The two of you sat on the steps of Deimos' apartment building, hearing the pattering of rain on the portico and Dei inhaling and exhaling smoke as he rubbed your shoulder. He spoke up again "y'know, I'm so confident in fact, I'd bet you $5 that nothing wrong will come of it.", you couldn't see his face, but you knew that a toothy smile was plastered on it.

You try your best to fake a smile. You know he's only joking and trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciate it. You let out a small chuckle "I'm not gonna bet that my boyfriend wouldn't accept me.." you say in your best lighthearted tone.

"why not? either you win $5 or there was nothing to worry about. sounds fair to me." he put his cigarette out on the pavement, the smell of nicotine in one last burst before finally dispersing. Your mind was a bit absent for the rest of your guys' time together, can't even remember what was talked about. though it was probably videogames, knowing Dei. The sound of a car pulled up, Sanford's grey and black Ford Bronco pulled up. You saw him look out the passenger seat and give a little wave.

"You should tell him. If not tonight, then soon. It's hurting you too much." Deimos spoke quietly to you before you stood up. You nodded, and gave him a hug. He waved as you and Sanford drove off to the apartment you two shared. A different complex from Deimos', yours was slightly better, and was payed for by you two instead of S.Q. like Dei's was. The drive was short but felt long. Those nasty thoughts buzzing in your head like angry hornets. You wish they could just leave.. Dei was right.. you need to tell him soon..

A few hours had passed, and you sat at the table reading as Sanford prepared dinner. You two usually switched who cooked dinner every other night, and tonight was his turn. You could hear him humming, tapping his foot to the song on the kitchen radio. The song La Mer by Charles Trenet played. You're not sure how he got French stations to play on that thing, but you suspected it had to do with the extra radio tower Deimos helped him put up.

Todays dinner was your favorite. It was the first thing Sanford learned how to cook.

"Here you are my darling girl~!" He sang while placing your portion of food on the table. That's it. You can't handle this anymore. You NEED to tell him. But maybe not now, it'll ruin-