Heartbreak

Just smile

A/N - More lighthearted chapter without much plot!

Kayden had noticed a significant change in their friend-group dynamic, Aiden and Adam were oddly quiet. Whispering among themselves and eyeing both him and Vincent with confused expressions. Not that he could blame them, they weren't acting like themselves at all. They were just as quiet, and on top of that, they didn't talk to each other. They didn't look at each other. Kayden couldn't force himself to, or rather, he didn't dare. He knew that the second he saw those blue eyes again, he would burst into tears. He really didn't want his friend to find out what was going on, what had happened between them. He needed to find a way to return to some sort of normal, or well, something that could pass as normal. Kayden was fully aware that they wouldn't be able to go back the friendship they had had before the summer, but they had to trick their friends. If they didn't, they'd start asking questions, and Kayden really didn't want to answer any questions. He wasn't even sure what he'd say. He wasn't sure what Vincent would say, he realized. He needed to try nevertheless.

"Vincent, could you pass me the calculator over there?" He asked as casually as he could, trying to sound less tense than he really was. He was staring at the calculator, and forcing his pulse down by pure force of will, he was determined not to look up at Vincent. He could have sworn Vincent jumped a little, like he was utterly unprepared to hear his voice. He could almost feel the genuine feeling of surprise from Aiden when he had addressed Vincent, in a positive way however. 

Vincent had gotten better, he was managing his emotions, and he had almost gotten used to the strange tension between him and Kayden, this unspoken agreement to not speak to each other. It helped him, not speaking to Kayden, pretending he wasn't there most of the time. It didn't go back to normal, no that was far away, but at least instead of pain there was numbness. He enjoyed the new feeling, it was a lot easier to bear. He could focus on school, or well, at least try. Right now he was doodling, as usual, instead of doing the physics questions. He listened to the mumbled of his classmates, some louder than others, as they all sat in their own bubble trying to solve the problems in the book. He heard James' loud voice talk about PE and couldn't help but roll his eyes at the typical comment from the school jock.

"Vincent, could you pass me the calculator over there?" he heard a voice from beside him. His stomach dropped, that voice had a far too big effect on him. Why in the world did Kayden speak to him? Weren't they suppose to ignore each other? Kayden could have asked anyone else, why him? He only allowed himself to react for a millisecond before he reached for the thin machine and turned to his side.
"Here." he said dryly but added a polite smile as he passed it to Kayden. Kayden nodded back, the awkward tension was almost suffocating. Vincent felt the tip of his fingers brush against the other boy, and Vincent dropped the calculator like it was burning him, not wanting the sparking energy from Kayden's soft hand to touch him. He didn't want to feel anything that came with it, good or bad. He quickly looked away and returned to his work. So now this was their relationship? Awkward politeness? He guessed it was better than completely ignoring each other, at least for their friends who had already suffered enough from their cold tension. He wasn't sure he was going to enjoy it, he knew it would be hard to be completely cold, when he had to talk to the man he still felt so strongly for. He was genuinely unsure what his feelings for Kayden were. Did he still love him? He didn't want to.

Kayden really needed to pull his shit together, his heart couldn't start beating like he was a prey, hunted by a much too quick predator, every time his hands were close to touching Vincent's. Their relationship had improved and so had he, he could ignore most of his most painful thoughts now. Vincent seemed fine, as well. He would focus the rest of his energy towards studying, he needed to get back on track, he was already far behind. Kayden had always had high expectations of himself and he had made sure to always meet those expectations. He needed A's in all the important classes, especially math, to be satisfied. Going back to the comfort of solving logical problems felt like a heavenly relief after overthinking his emotions. He was however snaped out of his bubble as Aiden asked,
"We should have a poker night tonight, it's Friday after all." Oh fuck. Of course. He heard Adam agree as enthusiastically as ever, which wasn't enthusiastic at all but if you spent enough time around the man you began to understand his very discreet emotion. Vincent took a moment to reply but eventually agreed to join, he even smiled. Kayden liked the cute dimples Vincent got when he smiled. Now everyone was looking at him, expecting him to answer.
"Alright, prepare to lose." He said with a smirk. Aiden snorted and he could hear Vincent chuckle quietly before they all decided a time to meet at Aiden's place. Kayden couldn't deny how much he loved to make Vincent laugh, even after all they had been through.

On Vincent's phone the time read 16.57, he had arrived a few minutes early to Aiden's place. He didn't mind. Would Kayden be there already? Not that he cared, of course. He rang the cold doorbell and heard shuffling behind the door before Aiden's face showed.
"Hello, Vincent." Aiden said as his usual formal self as he opened the door a bit more for Vincent to be able to stop in. Vincent smiled and stepped into the familiar hallway, Aiden had already started speaking about poker rules. They both walked into the kitchen where they started preparing popcorn.
"I guess I shouldn't ask about Kayden?" Aiden chuckled awkwardly. Vincent's body tenses a bit but decided to answer his friend.
"Sorry for making it weird in our group. We had a fight during the summer, let's just forget about it. I think we can still be in the same room." Vincent answered as truthfully as he could, throwing popcorn into the air before catching it with his mouth, in an attempt to look casual. His long blond hair could discreetly keep him from looking at Aiden when he answered. 
"Alright." Aiden said and started emptying a bag of chips into a large bowl. Vincent breathed out and was hit with a wave of appreciation towards Aiden. He considered thanking him for being so chill about it, but didn't want to bring the subject up again. Before his thoughts could spiral much further the doorbell rang again and he followed Aiden to open it. Kayden and Adam were waiting on the other side, they were talking about school, and they looked quite tired. Or, well, Kayden looked exhausted, with dried lips and tired eyes. Vincent wasn't paying much attention to what Adam was doing. He tried his best to be polite and act normal enough as they greeted each other, but when his eyes locked with Kaydens, his heart skipped a beat. They stared at each other for a split second, before Kayden walked past him and into the house. The single rejecting gesture was enough to stab a bit at his heart, making the anxiety dangerously close to getting control of him. 

Kayden was thankful he had agreed to join them. They were laughing and joking like they had before the summer. Even Vincent laughed. Every time he did Kayden felt his heartbeat speed up, but he ignored it the best he could. The only difference was that he wasn't sitting beside Vincent, making him laugh and being closer to him than everyone else. This time was, of course, very different. They were sitting far apart and barely looking at each other. The tension was there, the pain was there, but it was okay. He felt better than he had in a long time, and he relished the normalcy. He was getting better, they were both getting better. Maybe they could finally become friends again, Kayden hoped. He wanted nothing more than to be Vincents friend again. He wanted to be close in any way he could. He would do anything to make Vincent laugh again, if he couldn't hold his hands then at least be around him, be his friend. He had fucked them up so much and he regretted it even more. Seeing things improving at least helped him become a bit more at peace with himself. He didn't feel the same hatred every time he looked in the mirror.

Vincent was so focused on the card game, he almost forgot about Kayden sitting just a few feet away from him. He hadn't played in a long time, but neither had his friends, so it went well enough for him. When he had joined Kaydens class he hadn't ever played the game, now he found it to be one of his favorite past-times, just over a year later. He had known Kayden for longer, but when they ended up in a new school, in the same class, they had grown so much closer. Vincent almost flinched, as he thought back to the stressful school year last year. He loved it. As long as Kayden was around, he had felt like everything was going to be okay. Now seeing him made Vincent's head spin, he didn't know what he was feeling anymore.

The poker went well, after all, Kayden had gotten used to keeping a stone face when his emotions were swirling like a hurricane inside of him. Vincent had clearly become better at that as well, making him wonder how much Kayden actually understood what was going on in his head. He tried not to think about it too much, he wanted to enjoy the moment without drowning in emotions that were so hard to bear. They played for hours, everyone was having a wonderful time, and it felt like it used to. It felt like they had traveled back in time, like it was still spring and summer was months ahead of them. When Kayden eventually had to leave, he felt like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt lighter than he ever had before when he left Aiden's house.

A/N - Thank you for reading, updates on the way!

Next chapter will be a bit more eventful 👀