Poetry

Breakdown

TW: Self-harm.

Okay, so this one has quite the story. 

So the inspiration for this one was originally a museum on campus with an exhibit by Andrew Logan called 'Miss Alternative World', that's a whole other story so I'm not gonna get into that. Anyway, what started out talking about all the coloured glass that is seen in the museum, it ended up turning into a poem about self-harm and using it for control. 

Maybe it was to do with the fact that my mental health seems to be slowly deteriorating with every fight I have with my boyfriend and every thought that I might be autistic but not sure if I should get a diagnosis because of how the world will perceive me. But either way, it's not pleasant at all. 

Also, it's an anaphora poem, which means that every line starts in a similar way, and the ending is a Petrarchan structured verse. There are 14 lines which technically makes it a sonnet. The first 10 lines are all about the senses, and the mix of senses and colours gives it a feel of synaesthesia, albeit unintentionally. 

Anyway, enough of all that, let's get to the poem. (I apologise if it hurts anyone at all)

I see mirrors and coloured glass all around me

I see shards, shards that could hurt me

I feel the glare of the sun bouncing off the surfaces

I feel the glare burning into my skin

I hear a high pitched noise piercing through my eardrum

I hear the sound of ripping skin

I smell the copper bubble up from under my skin

I smell the searing of my broken skin

I taste crimson on my tongue

I taste the sweet serenity of pain, and control

The pain is too much, but it's what I need.

My senses on overdrive, out of control,

But I hurt myself to take back control,

I need control, I need to bleed.