Restraint And Denial (On Hold)

Chapter 7.

Chapter 7

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"Where could this girl be at this hour of the morning?" Zara questioned under her breath as she ambled toward the kitchen door, she had just been in her sister-in-law's room and she was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, Amira was sitting somewhere on the garden ground, all curled up, hugging her legs to her chest. On a normal day, she would rather be anywhere than there, but on that fateful morning, she found herself taking pleasure in perceiving the serene essence of the garden which she never used to visit. As she glanced around the place, she could picture her dream more lucidly, she now understood the meaning behind it.

She never really considered herself beautiful enough to attract attention from any man, but now, thinking back to how Zaid had looked at her as though he could see beyond her soul made her feel like she was the most beautiful maiden in the world. Picturing the color of his eyes, those hazelnuts of his, she finally realized that she loved him so much, that she couldn't look him back in the eye, unlike the rest of the time, he seemed to be lost in the abyss of his mind when he gazed at her. She smiled to herself, looking down at her bare feet as she buried them in the fine soil beneath her.

This is love! My chest feels tight, my heart is pounding. Just thinking about him makes my heart dance in excitement.

"This feeling...it's amazing." She whispered, a single drop of tears rolling down her cheek. She had never felt such a wonderful feeling before. The whole world looked like it was sparkling in her eyes. For the first time, she noticed herself for who she truly was; a beautiful woman with emotions, who had fallen so affectionately in love with the man of her dreams.

 She knew it was wrong to feel that way about him because he held the key to someone else's heart: her cousin, Farid had been the first to fall in love with Zaid, Amira understand her feelings intensely now, and was also glad that she met him when she did, even though nothing could ever happen between them. It was for Farida's sake that she was willing to give up her feelings for Zaid, all in the name of friendship and peace, which she believed was more important than her desires. 

She felt her eyes brimming with tears, she hadn't realized that she had been crying. Why wasn't she satisfied with her decision, despite the wonderful feeling she felt within? because she was in denial as always. No matter what kind of world was waiting for her at the end of the tunnel, those voiceless words whispering to her that she was in love would disappear without reaching anyone.

She felt a fresh wave of tears streaming down her face, just thinking about the battle she had lost without even fighting. She was well aware of how miserable her life would turn in the end but this was a risk she was willing to take, and also hoped on finding a replacement for him.

"Mira! Where are you?" She heard Zara calling from the kitchen and soon she remembered that she wasn't supposed to be in the garden at the time. She could easily go back to join her family at the dining table, but no, because he was there, she just couldn't face him again, after their previous encounter.

"Amira!" Zara called again, this time her voice resonated from a short distance. It seemed like she was in the garden. Amira quickly wiped her tears away using the back of her hand. She couldn't risk her sister-in-law seeing her in tears, especially when she couldn't express the reason behind it.

"Mira, come on! I know you're in there, stop playing hide and seek with me." She complained when she spotted Amira's dark hair somewhere near a flower bed.

Stepping closer, she found Amira sitting on the bare floor. She looked up from what she was staring at and her eyes met Zara's. She gave her a small smile rising to her feet. Zara peered into her eyes, instantly understanding that she had been crying.