Re:Shut-In

Chapter 1: Disconnected

You see, Subaru has lots of skills, from sewing to chess and having a crazy strong grip to have a very good fitness level.

And while Tappei sells him as a 'normal guy' he is far more accomplished than all of us in the skill department with how colorful his experiences are.

So it doesn't make sense for Subaru to be a clean slate shut-in that has done nothing in his life. He is too capable.

From that idea, I made this story.

To chat and talk about re-zero or commissions to write anything: https://discord.gg/YxtzwbzVQh

If you have ideas for any story you are free to DM me in discord or FFN.

Please enjoy.

I was pointlessly walking on dark, empty streets.

I didn't know why, but again, ever since I felt everything was pointless. I was disconnected from everything. I felt like I was outside of things.

So I just didn't question my urge to go outside.

I said my goodbyes to my mother after cleaning the dishes for her. It was pointless, it was thoroughly meaningless.

I had no intention to ease the burden she carried. Since I was that burden, it would be hypocritical to think I have any good intentions for her at all. I just helped her because I didn't want to just leave without doing anything.

In any case. I was here.

Alone.

First I rejected that urge while still outside, so I just bought stuff so I would have an excuse to tell myself instead of accepting I just randomly decided to walk on the street.

Yet, that causes me to hate myself even more....

'What kind of person makes excuses for himself

With such thought. I decided to not escape at all. I didn't care if this decision was going to kill me... maybe I would die to a robber or someone dangerous like that.

I didn't care. I was self-aware more than any other person.

I had no self-preservation. That's how a talentless guy like me could somewhat stand at the top when he cared enough to try. I would relentlessly work and get to that point. People would care about themselves and that would put a limit on them, whether it's exercising or something else. I had no such limit. I didn't give a damn about myself.

Other than that... this self-awareness was the reason I had to make excuses for myself.

Since Natsuki Subaru was unable to lie to himself. He had to make excuses, which also didn't work but better than acting like myself right?

Deep inside I do want to get into something dangerous, that too, is undeniable.

But I am not sure if that's why I got out at this late hour.

"Spent too much money too – why did I do that?" Oh right, I didn't believe I would be able to sleep today so I just bought so much junk food and other stuff, my plastic bag became quite heavy.

I could do this without hating myself that much because I did work before... just for the sake of my shut-in time. I was a shut-in with money so I wasn't a burden in that department at least.

I got into the work without any hope of getting liked by anyone. I didn't put effort into social stuff, only worked hard and closed my mind to anything else.