Ace of Hearts

Broken Promise

Flashback (2 of 4)

Leni knew her kids weren't going to be as accepting as Risa's. They were more likely to react negatively and she was ready for it. But like before, even when she had prepared herself for the worst outcome, that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

In the same manner that Risa did, she started dropping hints about their relationship, though it was harder given that she was far away from her kids. But with every chance she got, Leni did just as planned. "Sabi ni Risa, ganito daw...sabi niya ganyan..." She was sure that with every mention, her daughters grew more and more curious. Whether that curiosity carried resentment or relief, she didn't know.

Then again, she didn't raise them to be oblivious and insensitive people.

Two weeks before her birthday, Leni returned to the Philippines. She and Risa agreed that they wouldn't officially meet each other's children unless both sides knew about them. So a dinner as a family, even if it would only seem as such to them, was out of the question.

"Ma, what do you want to do for your birthday?" Tricia asked. She was still abroad and so was Jillian. She wasn't set to arrive until a week later. Although Leni wanted to see her children and be with them as soon as possible, a little delay wasn't unwelcome. Most especially since that delay would mean she could better prepare herself for what was about to come.

"Uwi tayo sa Naga tapos dinner na lang sa bahay. Ayoko na rin lumabas at mas gusto kong tahimik lang."

"Okay. Just us 4 then?"

"Oo, tayo lang."

Her children agreed, excited to go back home to their peace and quiet provincial life. Risa saying that they were going to do things right this time echoed in Leni's head. What ifs flooded her mind. What if her kids don't approve and she's got no choice but to choose between the two things she treasured the most in this life? What if they tell her to leave Risa and throw away all their plans for the future?

What if she has to let Risa go for the third time in this life?

Leni shook her head, aware that her negative overthinking would lead to nowhere. She texted her girlfriend, inviting her to dinner after work. Risa agreed almost immediately.

"Something's bothering you, my love," Risa said as they ate dinner at a restaurant somewhere.

"It's nothing, darling. Tungkol lang sa mga bata."

"Did something happen or is this about you coming out to them?"

"Coming out." Leni sighed, placing her utensils down and smiling warily at Risa. The senator reached over the table to grasp her girlfriend's hand. "It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Ang dami kong what ifs. Alam ko we agreed to take action after we know how they would react pero I need assurance, Ris. I need to know I won't lose you even if I have to."

"Leni..." Risa sighed sympathetically. "You won't lose me. Even if you have to, even if they want you to. Kung kailangan kong maghintay at magtiis nang matagal — gaano katagal man 'yan — I would do so if it means we get to express our love freely at the end of it all."

"But what if the time for us to love freely never comes?"

"Love me in secret, love me for the world to see, I'll love you just the same."

"Paano kung...kailangan mo akong palayain ulit? For the third time?"

"Still, I'll love you just the same."