ON HOLD - She's safe with me - James B. Barnes x OC //AU

The truth

a/n: welcome back my loves, I hope you're doing great!<3 As always, make sure to read the trigger warnings mentioned in the introduction chapter.

CW: *drum roll please* smut

Enjoy!

-

JAMES

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why did I say that? I knew there would be a time when she finds out, but secretly I hoped it would never be. Why? I didn't know. I didn't fucking know. It just makes everything more complicated now. I mean, I could've told her from the beginning, but I didn't, and I hate myself for it. Now she thinks I kept it a secret for some reason...I mean, I did...but it wasn't my intention.

"What?" she said, her voice almost a whisper. "What did you say?"

I blinked a few times, having no idea how I'm going to tell her.

"Listen I-" I looked down, not being brave enough to look into her eyes. Damn, I'm such a-

"No." she took a step away. "I wanna know why you know that I have a brother named Steve."

Fuck. I fucked up.

I gulped once, finally looking at her. Her eyes got watery, almost letting a single tear slip. Just like the time when we were kids and she lost her favorite doll. Steve and I tried to look for it for two whole days. Spending our days outside until it was dark again, looking for it.

"Can we sit down?" I asked, reaching out one hand, but she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stepped away once more. I could tell she felt betrayed.

"Please?" my voice trembled, and I felt my hands shaking.

"Fine." she finally said after thinking about it for what felt like ten minutes, when in reality it wasn't even one.

I sat down on the couch, seeing that Hades was lying in front of it on the fluffy carpet we bought for him, asleep. Leilah followed me to the couch and sat down right next to me. She made sure to keep a bit of distance between us, though.

I gulped before I started talking.

"Steve and I were best friends...a long time ago." It felt hard to let these words get out, remembering all the pain that followed.

"I don't think you remember because you were still so young, but Steve and I spent a lot of time together. We also played with you sometimes when your Mum was busy. Steve hated it because, in his eyes, I was his friend and not yours, but...I really liked to play with you as a kid." I let out a breathy chuckle. She just sat there, listening to what I'd say. Her eyes weren't teary anymore.

"I moved away when I was eight. My parents and my sister had a terrible car accident one day when I was at your house. They were on their way to pick me up. We wanted to go to the movies together, but..." I stopped talking to take a deep breath.

Fuck.

It was harder to talk about it than I thought. I've never mentioned this story to anybody. I was good at dealing with that stuff by myself. Not even Sam knew about it. I believe he still thinks that I was born here in New York.

"...they've never made it," I added quietly and looked to the carpet where Hades was lying, placing my elbows on my thighs.

"Fuck." I whispered as I felt a tear running down my cheek and put my head into my hands.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this."

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry you lost your family, James." She placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Steve was there for me, you know?" I looked over at her. "Even though we were 6 when it all started, he didn't think of me as a weird kid or something. It felt good to have a friend like him. And the more I was at your house, the more I wanted to stay there."