"I'm sorry." Bangchan had never sounded more sincere with his words. Jeongin was buried in their leaders chest, sobbing uncontrollably trying to gasp for air. The older member still stroking the back of their maknae making small hushing sounds to be a comfort.
"Could you- could-" Jeongin tried saying something, but his sobs kept cutting his words.
"Take your time, it's fine," Bangchan said in a hushed voice, still not letting go of his maknae. "I'm right here." Jeongin tightened the grip around his hyung still trying to control his sobs, with not much luck. His chest was on fire as if someone had thrown a match onto his heart. He could feel his whole body shake, small chills constantly shooting down his spine.
This was a mistake. What if he tells the others? What would everyone think of me? He wanted to ask if they could just forget this all ever happened, but his sobs wouldn't let him speak. Every time he tried saying anything, his throat just made a weird hiccup sound.
"Is everything okay?" It was as if Jeongin forgot how to breathe as he heard Felix's voice. His sobbing stopped immediately. He didn't dare turn around so he just kept staring into his hyung's chest, wishing he could just disappear. As Felix had asked, Bangchan had tensed up, as if he too had hoped no one would come and see them like this.
"Jeongin just started a panic attack, I'm just trying to help him calm down," Bangchan answered with a shaky voice, still not letting go of his maknae.
"Oh no, really?" Felix exclaimed as he seemed to move closer to them.
"Innie, do you need something? Some water, maybe something with sugar?" Felix's voice was soft and comforting. He carefully stroked Jeongin's back while he asked. Still, it felt like his throat was blocked from answering anything. He wasn't sure if he was breathing at this point.
"You think you could help us up? I can follow Jeongin back to his room," Bangchan requested as he handed out one of his arms to Felix.
"Yeah, of course!" Felix answered hurriedly. After a couple of seconds Jeongin was standing, still clinging to his hyung.
"Okay, let's go Jeongin."
"I'm gonna be right there with some water and snacks, don't worry Innie!" Felix softly exclaimed as Bangchan led the way towards his dorm.
"Why?" Jeongin finally managed to mumble as he was sat down on his bed. Bangchan squatted down in front of him.
"Why what?" he asked back while tilting his head, his gaze showing concern.
"With Felix hyung-" was all he managed to say before the lump in his throat stopped the rest. The leader nodded.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." Jeongin was staring at the ground, nodding a bit with his head.
"I admire your courage, Jeongin. Is this why you've been so distant lately?" Jeongin just nodded, still avoiding his hyung's gaze. Bangchan turned his head towards the door, as if to listen for footsteps.
"Look, before Felix gets here, I just wanna say that I really, really care for you Jeongin. And as I said, I am so sorry that I can't tell you what you probably wanted to hear. But I'm glad if this can help you manage your feelings a little better, and we can pretend like nothing if that is what you want. I just want the best for you. Okay?" He had taken his maknae's hands in his as he spoke, trying to get Jeongin to look at him. Jeongin sniffled as he finally looked at his hyung, trying to not let the tears start back up.
"Okay," he whispered, not daring to say anything more in case it started up his crying. Bangchan let go of his maknae's hands as Felix entered the door with a bowl of candy in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.
YOU ARE READING
Is This Really Love?
Fanfiction"What is this feeling?" A question Jeongin can't seem to get out of his head. His eyes seems to constantly be drawn towards their leader, no matter how hard he tries to resist. But what does it mean?
