Is This Really Love?

Chapter 3: The confession

Jeongin woke up sloppily reaching for his alarm, having a difficult time opening his eyes. After the strange feeling had appeared a couple of days prior, he had had trouble falling asleep. Thoughts constantly running through his mind, the same questions swirling around. He had started distancing himself from the others to clear his head. The others had noticed, but it seemed they all let him have his space without saying anything. He got out of bed, still struggling to fully open his eyes. Dragging his feet, he got going to the bathroom to take a shower.

None of it makes sense. A sentence he had on loop at this point. He couldn't understand his feelings. The other members being affectionate was nowhere near being a new thing, so why the sudden feelings? Bangchan was always clingy to all the members. They had been a group for 4 years at this point, so it made no sense to him why these feelings had decided to now show up.

This is why I've always said that feelings make no sense, he thought to himself as he got into the shower. He turned the temperature down to try and wake himself up. The cold water hitting his head gave him goosebumps all over, instantly sending a shiver down his spine. He ran his fingers through his hair as the water ran through it. Images of Bangchan flashed through his mind as he did, disappearing as quickly as they appeared.

Goddamn it.

He let go of his hair and closed his eyes, making the water flow down his face. It all felt wrong. Getting feelings for their leader? Let alone, getting feelings for a member of their group? Of course, they had all been close for years by now, but he had never imagined himself falling for any of them. He hadn't even known he was into guys before this.

What if I just pretend like it's nothing? He walked out of the shower and grabbed his towel before starting to dry his body. Their schedule today was to record some lines for one of their new songs, which meant they would spend time in the studio for a while. Jeongin was crossing his fingers that some of the others in 3RACHA was going to be there too, he wasn't ready for more alone time with Bangchan yet. He quickly got dressed and started drying his hair with the towel, pacing back and forth in his room. It felt like he had a lump in his stomach from all of this. The thought of food made him nauseous, but his leader's words were stuck in his head. "Your health is important." Jeongin sighed and grabbed his phone as he made his way towards the door. Arriving at the kitchen door he could hear the sounds of dishes being done. Upon entering, he could see Felix standing by the sink wearing gloves, washing some plates.

"Good morning, Jeongin!" Felix said with a chirpy voice. Jeongin smiled while walking towards the fridge, mumbling a soft "morning" back. Felix continued washing the dishes, humming along to the song that was playing from his phone. Jeongin was staring into the fridge trying to see if he had any food left. I forgot to go to the store. He closed the door and turned back to where Felix was standing.

"Hey, Felix hyung?" he asked, feeling shy about talking to his members after the last couple of days. Felix turned around with a puzzled look, still holding a plate in his hands.

"Yeah, what's up?" he asked back, his face going from a puzzled expression to a grin. He seemed happy that Jeongin had started a conversation, no matter what it would be about.

"Would you mind if I could take one of your yoghurts?" Jeongin pointed to the fridge while scratching his neck, feeling awkward asking for food after distancing himself.

"Oh, yeah! Treat yourself, no problem!" Felix said happily, doing a little wiggle as he resumed washing the plate.

"Thank you, I'll buy you something from the store as a repayment," Jeongin said shyly as he opened the fridge again and reached for one of the yoghurts. Felix chuckled and waved his arm a little as Jeongin went to one of the drawers for a spoon.