𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

I NEVER REALLY TALK. I don't know when my body or mind decided to talk less, but it happened. I'm not saying I'm mute or anything like that.. I just feel more comfortable not talking, especially if I'm at school.

Everytime I do decide to speak, maybe because I'm comfortable at that moment, I always end up re-thinking and regretting what I said. So to avoid that, I chose to be one of those "quiet" kids. And it feels like people see me as. Quiet... kept to herself. I'm not sure how I should feel about that.

Currently I'm standing in the mirror making sure I look somewhat good for the tenth time. Why am I checking myself out, you might ask. Because it's the first day of school... senior year of highschool, to be exact. To say I'm very grateful that it's my last year is an understatement. School has been nothing but a pain in the ass... the amount of bad days that I've had since middle school is very surprising and unnecessary.

I say that because I'm somewhat still dealing with all the years of school I've been through. Whoever made the process of school can literally fight me, cause why would you even do that?

I woke up somewhat early to get ready, I know I won't be keeping this "schedule" up after the first two weeks but it's always good to try.

Deciding to put my braids in a low ponytail, mostly because I just got my braids freshly done and it feels better in this hairstyle instead. I look good, but I feel like people won't think I do. I'm still working on that "self-love" and "not caring what people think"— rules. It hurts but hopefully I get there in the end.

Picking up my phone, opening it to see that it is only 6:42am, I have to be in first period by 8:15am. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with the new school schedule. I guess it would take some time for me to get used to it, but I hope I don't get into the habit of being late everyday.

"Hey, are you done, I need to use the bathroom," my little brother snaps me out of my thoughts as he knocks on the door. I opened the door and smiled at him, "You look so good, Rashad, you ready for your first day of third grade?", I said to him.

He cheesed up at me, "Thank you, and yes! I can't wait to see my friends, but I won't be able to see them if you're still in the bathroom, Solána," he replied back, jumping impatiently. I laughed, "Okay, I'm leaving, where's Roxana?," I asked. "She's downstairs with mommy," he replied, closing the bathroom door.

My siblings are my pride and joy, even if I didn't show it as much, I love them a lot. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't doing enough showing the people I loved that I love them. And I hope in time, that I would get better showing that.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen where my mom and sister were, "Solána, you look so prettyyy," my little sister exclaimed, smiling up at me from her chair.

She and Rashad are twins, Rashad was born 7 minutes before Roxana but Roxana bosses Rashad around as if she's older. He doesn't care though, they have this agreement that if she gets to boss him around he gets to be protective over her, I love that for them.