Dragon Age: Break Me, Mend Me

Break Me, Mend Me

Adeline Hawke thoroughly loathed Heart Day.

Ever since she was little, she'd had to watch as other couples giggled and kissed each other during the holiday – which she completely believed had been made up by the Merchant's Guild in order to force people into buying things like expensive chocolates and jewelery. Varric had disavowed knowledge of any such conspiracy, but a glance around The Hanged Man at her various companions did nothing to sway her opinion that the holiday was an absolute, made-up piece of shit.

Merrill was precariously perched on one of Isabela's knees, blushing as the lusty pirate queen fed her chocolates by hand. Aveline and Donnic were sitting at a corner table, making eyes at each other in a way that was both sweet and slightly disturbing at the same time, and Adeline watched as they exchanged their own gifts. Being the more practical sort of people, Aveline had gotten Donnic an expensive sharpening kit for his sword while he had given her a special metal polish for her shield and armor. The two of them immediately made their way to the door after the gift exchange, Aveline letting out a rather uncharacteristic giggle after Donnic whispered something in her ear. Adeline's amber eyes next fell upon Varric, who – while unaccompanied by a living, breathing entity – was quietly humming that damned song he wouldn't tell anyone the origin of while holding his crossbow to his chest and gently rocking back and forth as he stroked it lovingly.

With a heavy sigh, she turned to the empty seat next to her. She'd been hopeful that this might be the year her feelings finally changed about the holiday, now that she and Fenris had reconciled and were back together, but her subtle hints had apparently fallen upon deaf ears. Ironic, she thought, since elves were said to have an almost unnatural hearing ability. Worse still, when she had asked him to join her for drinks he had told her he already had plans. She couldn't help wondering what those plans were, but she was at least relieved to see Isabela was otherwise occupied because it meant that he wasn't spending the night with her.

She hated to admit it, but even though she'd forgiven them both for their brief affair it still got to her. Isabela was everything she wasn't – exotic, buxom, very experienced in bed. Fenris had sounded like their trysts had been quite satisfying when she caught them discussing one of them in her foyer, and she had her doubts that she could truly match up, despite him telling her that she was the only one he wanted and needed. She didn't even care about Varric's little pep talk he'd given her about how she'd be able to tell Fenris truly loved her. None of it mattered until he said the words, himself – which he had still failed to do. She'd even invited him to move in with her several times since their relationship had been mended, telling him she loved him and wanted to have him near her always, but he'd adamantly refused and so she still spent most nights alone in her bed.

"You look how I feel."

Adeline looked up just as Anders took a seat across from her and refilled the empty glass in front of her before filling his own from the same bottle. It struck her how tired he'd seemed lately, and tonight the effect was even worse. He had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was deathly pale, and even the slight smile he flashed at her was weak and forced.

"You hate this so-called 'holiday,' too?" she asked him, scooping up the drink and downing it in a single shot.

"Well, I used to like it," her fellow mage replied with a wistful sigh. "There used to be a time when I would have some pretty little thing helping me celebrate it. Things have changed, though."