MO GRÁ | Derek Morgan

chapter thirty two

┌── •✧• ──┐
London
march 4, 2003

I stood in the middle of my living room, hands on my hips, surveying the room. It was a mess, a chaos of birthday preparations. I wasn't doing anything big but just a small something with Mark, Derek and Killian. I had spent the entire day cleaning up, but it seemed it would never end. Yet, today was special. I was turning 22, and that deserved a celebration.

Mark and Derek were flying in for the weekend, and I couldn't wait to see them. I knew their presence would lighten the mood. I hurriedly tidied up the last few things, shoving stray cushions back into place and wiping down the dining table. The doorbell rang, and my heart raced. I opened the door to find Mark and Derek standing there, grinning like two schoolboys. Mark was holding a small bag, and Derek had a bouquet of flowers.

"Surprise!" they shouted in unison.

I laughed, feeling a rush of happiness as I stepped aside to let them in. "You guys made it!" I exclaimed, pulling them both into a tight hug.

"Happy birthday, Leah!" Mark said, his voice warm and cheerful. "Happy birthday." Derek smiled.

"Thanks you guys!! Though it's not that much of a surprise." I laughed, stepping back to take them in. "You both look great! It's so good to see you!"

"You look amazing." Derek said as Mark nodded agreeing as he looked around the house. "Wow, this place is amazing! How'd you afford this place?"

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled. "This is all Killian." Derek chuckled. "Well, he's got good taste. I can see why you fell for him."

I nodded but held back the urge to roll my eyes. "Yeah." As we walked into the kitchen, I felt a flutter of excitement. I had prepared a small cake, nothing fancy, but it was chocolate—my favorite. "I got a cake!" I announced, pulling it out of the fridge. "But I figured we could go out for dinner, too."

"Sounds perfect," Mark said, eyeing the cake with a grin. "You can't have a birthday without cake!"

I nodded and reached for my phone. "Let me call Killian and see when he'll be back. It's getting late."

I dialed his number, and I listened to it ring until it went to voicemail, and I sighed, leaving a quick message for him to call me back. I didn't want to let my disappointment show in front of Mark and Derek, so I plastered on a smile as I turned back to them. "No answer," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Maybe he's just busy," Derek suggested, pouring himself a glass of water. "You know how work can get."

"Yeah," I replied, though uncertainty gnawed at me. I was used to Killian being there for me, and even though I couldn't stand him. I didn't want him to miss this. If I had to show up to all his boring events and dinners then the least he could do was show up for my birthday.

< 𝑀𝑜 𝒢𝓇𝒶 >
a hour later

"He's probably busy," Mark said, his voice cheerful. After no word from Killian in the last hour. "We're here to celebrate you! What do you want to do?"

I forced a smile. "Let's just go out for dinner then. It'll be fun!"

Mark and Derek exchanged glances, but nodded. We decided on a cozy little restaurant nearby, and as I grabbed my jacket, I threw my phone on the couch.

The restaurant was buzzing with energy, filled with little families and friends. We sat into a booth, and ordered a variety of appetizers, sharing everything that had gone on in the last year that I or they didn't know about.

After dinner, we strolled back to the house. Derek and Mark were joking about something I had done when I was a teenager, and I couldn't help but laugh along and try to defend myself. Their energy was contagious, and for a moment, I forgot about my worries.

Once we were back in the living room, I pulled out the cake and set it on the table, placing the candles in the cake. "Okay give me one minute." I said walking over towards the living room to grab my phone out off of the couch. I checked to see if Killian answered, but he didn't. In fact there wasn't one message. I sighed rolling my eyes, as I put the phone into my pocket and walked back into the kitchen.

"He answer?" Mark asked but I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, let's just cut this cake." I smiled as Derek began lighting the candles. "Okay, make a wish!" Mark said as  I stood infront of the cake and he held out his camera.

"Wait-wait-" Derek said stopping me before I could. I looked over at his confused. "What is it?"

"We have to sing happy birthday." He grinned looking to mark who nodded. "One, two three." I sighed as they began.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Leah. Happy birthday to you."

"Now make a wish!" Mark joked, I rolled my eyes as I blew out the candles. We cut into the cake, and I gave each of us a slice before sitting down my own place and watching opening the wine cabinet.

"Perhaps some wine?" I offered as they both nodded. I grabbed the glasses then began pouring the drinks.

We dug into the cake and enjoyed our glasses of wine. But as the minutes turned into hours, I found myself glancing at my phone more often than not.

"Everything okay?" Derek asked, noticing my distracted demeanor. "Yeah, just... waiting for Killian to call," I admitted, forcing myself to smile.

Mark gave me a sympathetic look. "You know he'll be back soon. He wouldn't miss your birthday."

I nodded, but doubt still lingered. "It's almost 10, Mark."  I sighed but I still tried to push it aside and engage in conversation, but my mind kept drifting.

Eventually, the energy began to wane. Mark and Derek were both yawning, and I knew it was getting late. "I think I should probably let you guys get some rest," I said, a bit reluctantly. "Thanks for coming out, it really means a lot."

"Of course! We wouldn't miss it," Mark said, giving me a warm hug. "Happy birthday again, Leah. I hope you have the best year yet."

"Thanks, Mark. I hope so too."

Derek pulled me into a hug as well. "Take care of yourself, alright? And don't worry too much about Killian. He'll be back before you know it."

I smiled, though inside I felt a mix of emotions. "I will. Thank you for everything. Are you sure you don't want to stay here?"

"No it's okay, I got us a hotel right up the street. See you tomorrow?" Mark said as I nodded. "Yeah okay, see you guys tomorrow, bye!"

"Bye!" They said in unison. As they left, I locked the door behind them, the silence of the house settling in like a heavy blanket. I glanced at my phone again, still no messages from Killian. I sighed, feeling the weight of disappointment press down on me. But what did I really expect?

I wandered into the living room, looking around at the remnants of the celebration. I sank down onto the couch, staring at the wall, feeling lost in my thoughts.
I wanted to be happy, to embrace the joy of turning twenty two, but the silence felt deafening. I hated being alone.

With a deep breath, I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I knew that Killian would eventually come home. But for now, I walked upstairs and sunk into my bed. Falling to sleep as quick as I could...