Little Miss "Perfect"

First Day Of 7th Grade

It was like any other first day of school after have been going to school for 7 years and getting used to the routine: wake up mum; miss the morning bus; register late; be late for class; get lost ten to twenty times in one day; reunite with friends; make new "teacher enemies"; be the "mean kid"; almost get into a fight; the usual things for a 'troubled' kid. I was kinda used to it. I was never very liked and would keep my distance from- well, everybody, I guess. Only today was going to be different. The voices in my head told me so. (At least I hope they're in my head.) They said I was going to meet someone new, someone, like me? I was curious and kept my eyes opened all day but only made one friend and that one was a guy and total opposite from me. He was trying be friends with everybody and kept trying to be friends with me too, Levi. He was a strange person: tall, blond, glasses, smart, enthusiastic, and spoiled. I told him what the voices had said without telling him 'they' told me. (I didn't want him to think I was some psychotic freak, sheesh.) He told me it's 'destiny' to meet this person. I just kinda rolled my eyes in disbelief. He told me I would see, then the day was over and I was lined up in the hallway waiting to go home; dreading having to go home. I new that I was going to get yelled at for something I was thinking of a way to cover up my tracks of leaving a bruise on my brother's arm.

I don't think I was a very friendly person or very noticed person at that. I think that maybe I could've have tried a little harder and my eighth grade year wouldn't be so difficult to deal with. I don't think it was anymore reasonable for me to be a fighter and choose to get mad at every little thing that anybody said or did to me. I would get angry over someone just looking at me. It made me look like a bad person. I wasn't really, you just had to get to know me, I guess. I always try to be the new guy or girls first friend that way the people talking behind my back can't say anything to them yet and they can get to know me; before hearing all of these rude and unnecessary things that teenagers (mean and preppy ones) say about me. At least I was trying to be friends with someone, instead of just talking to the voices in my head. People think I'm crazy. I just usually tell them, "Mummy says I'm special- not crazy." A lot of people get mad at me for it and try to find a clever come back, but it's usually all the same, like: "You're mum is crazy too," or "You must have been dropped alot as a baby." I don't really let it faze me anymore. Though, if someone in second through fourth grade would have said it to me, there would have been blood drawn.

My own family was never fond of me either. My dad is verbally and mentally abusive. When I was little he was physically abusive because he was usually drunk and wouldn't remember it. He never hit me hard enough to bruise me, but he often sent me and my little brother, Dwight, to bed hungry. My mum worked late nights and would come home mad because my dad didn't come and pick her up on time, so they would get into a huge fight and my mum would usually make me and my little brother go over to my grandmother's house and stay there to get away from my mum and dad's fighting. He never hit her and I would never tell her what was going on when she wasn't home. She would urge me to, but I wouldn't. I didn't see the point in telling her if she was going to leave my dad and try to make us move. I might have wound up with my dad anyway because he already lost two of his other daughters, Jade and Alex, in custody battle's and his oldest son. He never talks about them, but I know it hurts him. My mum won custody of one of her daughter's, the oldest one, Nicole, but she wanted to be with her 'daddy', so my mum gave her up. Her other daughter, Ash, was lost from the start. I only got to meet them a few times and didn't really take to them, even though they were family. It was easier for me not to let them in my life, especially since I wasn't going to see them very often anyway. They didn't accept me in the family anyway. Everybody thought I was cursed and forbid me to do anything or even say anything, some of the time. I didn't understand why I wasn't liked, but it had me thinking I was worthless and unneeded most of the time.