Want

Chapter 32 - Paix d'une querelle: PART 1

Hola bitches - so lol a lots happened if you haven't seen the conversation then you wouldn't know that I broke my finger and that is why I hadn't updated for awhile. that and i was grounded, then school finsihed and family shit with xmas and stuff happened anywayssss HAHA I love my life. okay okay enough now and on with it HOPEFULLY IM BACK but i say that everytime

THANKS FOR READING U GORGEOUS PPL

enjoy xo

Alone - the act of being isolated and being completely lonely.

A very dramatic definition of 'alone' that is.

It's funny because i don't feel alone at all, although i am. There's monsters in my head. Monsters that don't wanna leave. Monsters that keep you up at night wondering when it's their time.

It's all a haze. i'm not alone on the outside i know that because i watch people buzz past me, rushing to get ready.

I'm alone in my mind, alone with my monsters, my demons and my lovely fucked up thoughts.

The world moves around me, no matter how much i want it to stop. It leaves me trapped, stuck, caged within myself.

So i may not feel completely alone but i sure as hell feel trapped. It feels like i'm slowly suffocating, the air being blocked off. My ability to be free slowly disappears as the night comes closer to 9pm. Until i see them again...

And to go with my loneliness, trappedness and my depressed bitch phase is that I'm also being avoided.

like avoided not only by the bloody guards who I just wanted to practice my dagger aim on. pfft, you're meant to be a man, man up for fucks sake Julian.

pussy.

But the whole goddamn family. Rude pieces of shit. Even Camilla whose currently so invested in her phone next to me.

weird...

This fricken ball is meant to start in an hour and the whole situation that went down in the kitchen was four hours ago.

It doesn't help that these random women are poking at my face and hair.

My brain is in knots, i don't understand what's going on.

The one constant thought though that keeps coming in and out of my stupid brain is 'what's gonna happen when i see them?'.

You're probably thinking 'You're stupid Natalia, it's neutral ground, they can't do shit'

And well, while that is true you haven't lived with them, grown up with them.. experienced them.

I ran away, their most prized possession ran away from them. The only thing they could've used to get back at my family disappeared.

But once again, they aren't the Smith family without a plan B.

That is why I may or may not be shitting bricks on the inside.