"Poor Severus." said Albus to Harry as the latter spoke to him upon his arrival to King's Cross after the Horcrux inside him was destroyed.
Poor Severus indeed.
As Severus travelled On, he dreaded what would await him upon his arrival. He was scared that Lily wouldn't forgive him for his crimes and mistreatment on Harry. He feared what Potter and Black would do and say to him when he arrived. But he knew one thing for certain: he was not going to forgive them for bullying him, nor Potter for taking Lily from him forever.
Soon he felt his train slowing down and his heart pounded in his ears as he realised that in just a few moments, he was going to see both the woman he most loved and two of the men he most hated. At last, his train came to a halt and reluctantly, he climbed down onto a white landscape, misty and mysterious. But as he arrived, he noticed more trains departing and in the distance. He could see two Hogwarts students walking into the mist. He recognised both of them. The first was a girl in Harry's year who had been chasing Ron Weasley the year before, namely Lavender Brown. The second was the slightly younger student who was petrified five years ago; Colin Creevey.
As Severus watched these poor, young heroes walk, they disappeared into the mist. At first, he thought that the mist was thicker where they walked, but then he noticed that the spots they disppeared both glowed. Then he saw that there was a glow ahead of him. It was a light behind a door. He knew that this was meant for him, as he shifted sideways, the door did too.
Severus feared to go through his door, but knew that it would follow him wherever he tried to flee to. He sighed deeply and resigned himself to his fate. He walked slowly towards the door and just before he went through, he heard a shriek of anger. He turned and saw Bellatrix Lestrange had arrived. He decided to get through his door to avoid any argument from the Death Eater he found so annoying and suspicious.
So Severus took that final step through his door and as he passed through, it shut fast behind him and he turned, but there was no door. It had vanished as it closed ensuring he could never go back into the limbo world he had just left behind. He felt trapped now, forced to live where he was bound to be tortured and punished by James, Sirius...and Lily. It was going to be the Hell that he deserved.
Severus turned back to ahead of him and found that instead of white mist, he was standing in the grounds of Hogwarts. Only it was quiet, peaceful and seemingly empty. There was no awful noises in the Forbidden Forest, which looked somehow tamed, with apple blossom in the outer trees and rabbits looking friendly out of their burrows. And not even in the lake was there the splash of fish, nor the faraway singing of mermaids, nor the shadow of the mighty Giant Squid. It was peaceful, quiet and sunny. Severus groaned as he thought to himself, "A false hope, no doubt, trying to trick me into believing that I'm in Heaven."
Just then, he heard the sound of the great Hogwarts doors opening. "This is it" said Severus calmly and acceptingly, "My punishment begins."
He looked up and saw not three...but five figures walking towards him. Behind them, Severus saw a sixth. "Who are they?" said Severus.
As the figures approached, Severus realised exactly who they were. In front were James and Lily, younger and healthy; Lily grinning for some reason and James with a faint smile. This smile wasn't his usual sly smile that came before his daily humilations of Severus. Next to James walked Sirius, his hands in his pockets, smiling broadly staring at Severus as he approached. He was much cleaner and a liitle bigger in weight as though he wasn't drained by Dementors for twelve years of his life.
Severus turned to Lily's left and was shocked to see Remus and his wife, Nymphadora Tonks. Remus looked younger, colour in his face, no weakness or paleness about him and no greying hairs, as though he was never a werewolf in life. Tonks looked more or less the same as always, but was clearly unhappy. Remus did too. At the moment, Severus didn't know why; although they had just died.
Behind Sirius, cowering in fear was none other than Peter Pettigrew. Severus could not believe that he was even allowed anywhere near Lily and James. Then he thought that if Lily forgave him, she might even forgive him. He also wondered how Remus, Tonks and Pettigrew died, but he could explore this another time.
The six people approached Severus next to the lake. Severus was absolutely pale, his eyes stuck on Lily and James, though his left eye darted in Sirius' direction too once or twice. James seemed to know what was passing through his mind because he spoke and not in a harsh, bullying tone.
"Neither me nor Sirius are going to hurt you, Sev."
"NO ONE CALLS ME THAT! NOT ANYMORE!" bellowed Severus angrily.
James and Sirius were surprised at his reaction and Lily seemed to have tears in her eyes, hearing those last two words.
"Severus" said Sirius, "I know you obviously don't trust us and we all know you have reason not to like us. But we have seen all you've done since our deaths and we understand why."
Severus' temper was boiling over as Sirius was implying that he understood the pain and misery he had suffered all his life.
"How dare you pretend to know what I've been through." he muttered quietly, but full of rage.
"Severus, calm down." said Remus.
"NO!" shouted Severus, "It's all great for you lot. You and your new wife together in Heaven, Black with his best friends again with no sign of suffering in life, Pettigrew forgiven by all, and Potter, just like he did in life, has his way and lives happily in a paradise he doesn't deserve with Lily, WITH LILY!"
Everyone was staring wide eyed and pale at Severus after this outburst. Lily's tears began to come out free and shiny. James and Remus bowed their heads down after a moment, disappointed. Tonks held Remus' hand in shock, Pettigrew stopped shaking to stare at Severus, but Sirius on the other hand turned cross.
"One: I do know suffering just as much as you do. I spent twelve years in Azkaban! Two: We haven't forgiven Peter, yet. He just finds his only paradise is here at Hogwarts as this is the only place he ever had friends. Three: Remus and Tonks being dead means their son is now orphaned so they're not exactly happy right now. And four: Don't be selfish."
Severus looked like he was going to lunge at Sirius. James walked between them.
"Severus, I now know how much you hate me for not just bullying you but for winning Lily's heart. And I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" said Severus, "I respect that Lily is happy with you, but you expect to ruin my life and make what's supposed to be my Heaven into Hell and think that I'm going to forgive and forget?"
"Why not?" asked Remus simply, "Lily and James forgive you for how you treated Harry over the years and how you accidentally got them placed under Voldemort's hunting eye."
Peter winced at the sound of the name. Sirius scowled at him.
"And we've all forgiven you for what we thought you did as a spy" continued Remus, "So can't you do the same to us?"
Severus spoke simply and firmly, "Never."
He shoved past them, noticing Lily hadn't said a word, but her tears were perfectly visible. But Severus was so angry, he didn't care. He didn't even understand why she was crying. She clearly didn't love him as much as she loved James, so why make such a fuss over his anger and hatred?
As all of the people who welcomed him to what he decided was Hell on Heaven watched on, sad and sympathetic, Severus entered the Heaven Hogwarts castle, found his bed in the dungeons and cradled up, tears in his eyes, finding it even harder to accept his punishment for his past mistakes.
Author's end of chapter talk: Sorry if people aren't liking Severus' suffering but things always get worse before they get better and I promise, it does get better. So how'd you think the book's going? Will Severus forgive the others easily? Will Lily speak to him again? And how is everyone else coping with the tragedies they are still suffering? Find out in future chapters. Chapter 3 coming soon!
