Kinnporsche x a song

Kinn x Porsche x White horse

This text takes place in episode five, after Porsche had unconsent sex with Kinn being drugged (in episode four) and now sat in front of the mirror overthinking his life. 

POV Porsche

Used.
The first word that came up to my mind when I looked in the mirror was used. I looked at the rushed skin of my upper body, sore and dirty from the ground I crawl on. And I still felt the pain from last night, it hurt with every step I did.

I felt used when I woke up and felt the pain in my body.
I felt used, used and betrayed, when I realised that Kinn saved me from being touched by them, but then did even worse himself.
I felt used when I remembered how vulnerable I was last night, and how Kinn didn't hesitate to exploit that.

I could still hear his voice in my ear. "Are you okay? Porsche?" I remembered the regret, the insecurity - he knew exactly what he did. Something unforgivable. 

Say you're sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to.

I felt so dumb that I thought we were on a level. I mean - I knew that he was my boss, but I felt like in this case he would see me as a human just like him. But I got convinced of the opposite when Ken and Big forced me to do the punishment - no, when Kinn joined them and told me that he gave the order. The order to get punished for being drugged, drugged and used.

Stupid boy, I should've known, I should've known that I'm not a prince, this ain't a fairy tale.

And now I was sitting in front of the mirror, feeling every inch of my body hurt, and this wasn't comparable to the pain in my heart.
I liked him, I really did. 

Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance.

I thought of Vegas. He never treated me as he was a better human or worth more, even though he was in the same position as Kinn. Was it because he was not MY boss? Was he just a better person?

It didn't matter, but I felt like Vegas would never treat someone that way. He maybe didn't hesitate to shoot an enemy, but he treated the ones on his side with respect. If he found me that night, he would have kept his self control. 

I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.

It didn't matter. I looked in the mirror again and tried to not scream.
I was stuck here, with an abusive boss and bodyguards like Ken and Big that hated me, and there was nothing I could do. It felt like there wasn't anything that could get better here, because my trust to Kinn wasn't just a bit broken, it was destroyed. He couldn't fix it in a way I could think of.

It's too late for you and your white horse.