Winter's Bride

5. Apology

Y/C/N  had been right as much as you hated to admit it, she had also been right about the bacon too, it was proper bacon much to your delight as you shovelled in the food, washing it down with some freshly squeezed orange juice.
"I knew that would sort you out" she said, as you both set down your cutlery at the same time with a satisfied sigh.
"Yeah, I needed that" you forced a smile.
"Wanna talk about it now?" she asked.
"There isn't much to say" you shrugged, "I don't really know what happened, like I said he wasn't much of a conversationalist, I'm pretty sure he was only there because Yori put him on the spot."
"And so what he just left?"
"Pretty much" you took another sip of your juice, "I brought Yori up and how he had lost his son and then all of a sudden he just got this weird look on his face, said excuse me, got up and left."
"Maybe it triggered something for him that he's dealing with" Y/C/N said, always the reasonable one, "It might not have been personal, or even anything you did" she shrugged "But he shouldn't have just left you like that, especially to make your way home on your own in the middle of the night" she added angrily.
"Maybe" you shrugged, seeing it more reasonably now you weren't under the influence of the alcohol. "And I go home alone every night I work" you added.
"Not past midnight you don't.' she retorted with one eyebrow raised.
"I'm just pissed off, if he didn't want to be there he should have just said no in the first place. I've been messed around enough times, I can't take it anymore, why do you think I've not bothered to date anyone since I came here."
"Well you obviously like him or you wouldn't have put yourself out there like that, I have to admit I was surprised when you told me you had a date." She said causing you to scowl, "You know what I mean" you nodded back at her with a sigh. "Just talk to him, see what he has to say, you are neighbours after all, it's going to be awkward if you don't"
"It's going to be awkward anyway now" You huffed, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms.
"Y/N" she warned.
"I know, I know, if I see him I will, I promise, but I'm not going out of my way." you said, knowing you were now going to do your upmost to make sure that you wouldn't see him.
After a short stroll around some nearby shops you both headed back to your apartment. Y/C/N had gone into her old room to grab a few things that she had left, having only moved out a few months back. She had just emerged through the threshold of her old door when the knock came against the apartment one. You were sat on the sofa after having watched a couple of episodes of crappy tv show you only watched with each other, after having started it together in the apartment. A paused screen of the male lead with an unfortunate facial expression filled the TV screen. You turned to face Y/C/N and you both froze in place.
"That'll be him" you whispered panicked, but loud enough for her to hear.
"How do you know?" she thawed herself and scurried across the room towards you as though she was trying to keep from being seen despite the door being closed.
"Who else has a key to get in the building that I know except for you?"
"True" she sighed, "Well no time like the present" she smiled before making her way over to the door and opening it.
"Uh hi?" you heard his voice coming from the hallway, clearly not expecting the door to be answered by anyone else but you.
"Hi" she smiled back but you could tell she wasn't finished, "You must be the asshole who walked out on my cousin in Fagan's last night leaving her to walk home by herself at god knows what hour" she plastered on an obviously fake smile, "Nice to meet you."
"Uhm about that" he began but she cut him off.
"No need to explain to me, come on in, Y/N is over there for you to apologise too, and I will be on my way." She continued with her tone overly pleasant as she grabbed her things and headed out the door, "Call me." She shouted to you as she closed it behind her, awkwardly leaving James on the inside of your apartment looking sheepish. You stood up from the sofa and turned to face him, as he stood in one of his usual Henley's with a t-shirt over it. His coarse brown hair was fashioned into its typical style and his hands were stuffed into the pockets of his black jeans.
"Y/N I'm sorry" he said, ashamedly as he didn't move from where he stood, his head hung like a scolded teenager as his blue eyes bore down into the uneven wooden floorboards. "I shouldn't have just walked out like that, and left you to get back, that was..." he sighed, "really irresponsible of me." As much as you wanted to be mad at him and you were, you could tell he was sincere and you couldn't bring yourself to be harsh with him. You walked over to where he stood, your arms folded across your chest as though that would somehow protect you from being hurt even more.
"James I know Yori put you on the spot but if you didn't want to you should have just said so rather than string me along like that." You spoke as calmly and reasonably as you could, giving him the courage to raise his head and actually meet you in the eyes. Those pools of icy water that froze you every damn time you saw them.
"It wasn't that at all" he admitted, "I wouldn't have agreed to it if I didn't want to."
"Then what was it James? Why just walk out and leave me like that? Do you know how humiliating that was? It made me feel worthless and pathetic." You found yourself admitting to him much to your own annoyance but you could see that it added to his guilt, you weren't sure how you felt about that.
"I...I just..." he began as he pressured his already unclear and foggy mind to come up with some sort of reasonable explanation, but you could see what it was he was doing.
"Just the truth James please? You owe me that much" you said with sigh as you pulled out one of the wooden dining chairs and took a seat, gesturing for him to do the same. He sat down as you rested your chin in both palms of your hands, waiting for him to speak. You raised your eyes to meet his again, trying to avoid looking into them too much, so you could keep your head straight.
"I have some....unresolved issues" he found himself admitting to you, it was something he struggled admitting to his own therapist. "From past trauma and all that stuff about Yori, it just brought some stuff back for me."
"I'm really sorry about that James" you said softly, feeling your previously hard resolve soften as he opened up to you.
"It doesn't excuse what I did, I handled it badly and I put you in danger and I'm sorry."
"Don't be so hard on yourself James, you hardly put me danger, I walk home alone from work all the time, Y/C/N's just protective that's all." He looked away for a moment, as if he knew something that you didn't, but you were trying to force yourself to not overthink, something you weren't very good at at the best of times.
"Anyway I just wanted to say I'm sorry, truly." He finished, his eyes searching yours, as though he was desperately trying to tell what you were thinking.
"I forgive you" you said, not knowing how much it actually meant to him to hear those words. How much he had needed to hear those words for a long time now. Suddenly Steve's voice in his ear brought him back from his thoughts.
"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" You offered, having stood from the table but he was distracted as Steve rattled on in his ear.
"I'm good" he said and stood abruptly from the table, clearly distracted by something. "Thanks for, for hearing me out." He nodded curtly, before rushing from the room, closing the door behind him.
"And another one bites the dust." You said to yourself with a shrug as you locked the door after him.