Till My Heart ❤️ Settles (COMPLETED)

Ming

My heart stopped when I heard Lam speak to his mom. It was his mom?!

My entire family crumbled and went to pieces with that accident. Mom died, dad became a pale shadow of his former self and me? All I had was a scar and a lifetime of pain and hurt plus guilt. It was me who had forced my mom to bring me out for pizza. She had done it willingly despite having cooked dinner. If we only had stayed home. If only.

I sat down at the dorm entrance, crying. My tears flowed down involuntarily. Just then I heard Lam.

"Ming. Please. Can we talk?"

I stood up. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I shook my head no and stepped away. Lam came and held onto my hands. I cried but I didn't turn to look at him at all. I couldn't. Knowing his mom was that driver, no matter what her reasons were, it didn't change the fact that she didn't own up. She had destroyed my family in 1 night with her actions and it didn't look like she wanted to take responsibility for it now either.

I took my hand out of Lam's grip. This time I turned around to him and just uttered softly, "I can't be with you Lam. Knowing that your mom had destroyed my family. I can't. The pain is just too raw. It may have been 12 years but it hasn't dulled."

With that, I started to head towards my dorm. But before that, I turned around to place a key in Lam's hands. It was the extra key he had given me the last time. I placed it in his hands and walked away, my tears coming down fast and hard.

I didn't sleep the rest of the night. Lam kept calling and calling and I ignored it all. I got ready for school at 7am. Shit I had Sotus today from 2pm. I sighed softly as I went about school in a silent sullen daze. Posh took 1 look at my face and knew something had happened. He didn't say anything but was just by my side the whole day.

At 2pm we all reported for Sotus sharp. I was in the hall when Park came by. He saw me and didn't say anything. Park just tapped on my shoulders and went off. I kept my eyes down resolutely, refusing to look at the stage where I knew Lam was standing. We were broken into smaller groups today and Lam was in charge of mine. We ran through a few sets of drills and other activities before ending the day at 7pm. Posh had to go off to meet Wai but I assured him I be ok and he took off. I was packing my things when Park came over.

"Can I talk to you for a while?"

"P Park. Yes, of course. Is everything ok?"

"I should be asking you that. Are you ok?"

I cast a glance at Lam who was just sitting there, packing things away. I nodded tersely, trying to force a smile to my face.

"I'm fine P Park. Just..school is tiring."

"School alone or matters of the heart too?"

"P..."

"Look its not my business. I know. But I also know he is hurting terribly and so are you. You are both important to me. He is because he is my best friend. You are, because you are his love. The love of his life. And whoever is important to him is so to me too. To me and Forth. And we both aren't too happy to see you two hurting. Can't you guys talk about this first?"

"I'm not sure i have the strength or courage to do so P. The person who died is my mom. The one who caused it is his. Can you imagine my dilemma and pain?"

Park kept quiet. I just waiied to him respectfully and left. Before I did, I turned around to Park.

"I love Lam alot. I do. I cannot imagine being without him. He took care of me for 2 days when I was ill and I was unable to be alone post that. But this is my mom we are talking about. I been without her for 12 years and the pain has never quite gone away. How then?"

I left Park there as I walked away, knowing Lam was watching me the whole time, in conflict himself.