POSTER KID, oc

003. letter from no one

ACT ONE, CHAPTER THREE

LETTER FROM NO ONE

'He looks like an idiot'

•••

[Petunia and Dudley walk into the house, Dudley bundled up in towels.]

Petunia: It's all right, sweetheart. It's all right.

[As they walk into the sitting room, Belle and Vernon enter. Vernon shoves Belle against the wall, gripping her hair tightly.]

"Let go of her!" Apollo and Ron shout.

Belle: Ow!

Vernon: What happened?!

Belle: I swear I don't know! [Vernon snarls] One minute, the glass was there and then it was gone! It was like magic!

[Vernon scoffs, shoving Belle in her cupboard, locking it.]

Vernon: There's no such thing as magic. [He closes the vent on the door.]

"Yes there is!"

[The camera pans up showing Dudley posing in his uniform.]

"He looks like an idiot." Sirius snickers.

Petunia: Aww, smile. [She takes a photo, smiling widely.] Vernon, just look at him. I can't believe it. In just a week you'll be off to Smeltings.

Vernon: Caveat Smeltona. Proudest moment of my life.

Belle: Will I have to wear that, too? [They draw their attention to Belle.]

Petunia: What, you? Go to Smeltings? [Belle nods, questionably]

Vernon: Ha!

[They laugh.]

Petunia: Oh, don't be stupid, you're going to the state school where you belong. [She goes to the kitchen, fishing out a grey shirt.] And this is what you're gonna be wearing when I've finished dyeing it.

Belle: But that's Dudley's old uniform. It'll fit me like bits of old elephant skin.

Sirius barks out a laugh. "Nice one, Belle"

Petunia: it'll fit you well enough. Go get the post. [Belle head to the Hallway. She picks up letters one of which being addressed to her. Belle walks back into the kitchen, handing the other letters to Vernon.]

Vernon: Oh, Marge is ill! Ate a funny whelk.

"Good." Belle scoffs.

[Dudley sees Belle's letter and grabs it from her.]

Dudley: Dad! Look! Belle's got a letter!

Belle: Hey, give it back! It's mine!

Vernon: Yours? Who'd be writing to you?

"Well Apollo sent a bunch of-" Apollo places his hand over Ron's mouth.

"Shut up, Ronnikins."

Belle Smirks. "No, no. I want to hear more about this." Ron turns to her mouthing 'later'.

[The family gathers around. Vernon turns it over spying the broken seal. The family looks up as Belle gulps. An owl flies by, dropping off a letter. In the house, Vernon rips up letters. While in her cupboard, Belle hears a whirring noise. She looks out seeing Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox.]

Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox.

[The next day, Vernon is at the door, kissing Petunia goodbye.]

Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear.

Vernon: [Seeing a bunch of owls] Shoo! Go on!

[Later, Vernon throws letters into the fire. Belle comes round the corner. Vernon grins evilly. The scene transitions to the next day, the family sitting around while Belle serves biscuits.]

James rolls his eyes. "She's not a servant."

Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?

Belle: [Dudley shrugs] There's no post on Sunday.

Vernon: Ah, right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Ha! No blasted letters today. No, sir. Not one single bloody letter, not one. No, sir, not one blasted, miserable-

[A letter shoots out of the fireplace, hitting Vernon's face. A rumble is heard then a million of letter come out of the fireplace. The family shriek in horror as Belle watches.]

Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! What is it? Please tell me what's happening!

[Belle jumps on the coffee table to grab a letter. She grabs one, starting to run away.]

"Why didn't you just grab one from the floor?" Remus asks.

"I'm not the smartest sometimes, okay." Belle admits causing Apollo to smirk.

Vernon: Go away! Ahh! Give me that! Give me that letter!

[He chases Belle and grabs her before she gets to her cupboard.]

Belle: Get off! Ahh!

[Vernon restrains Belle.]

Vernon: Ahh!

Belle: They're my letters! Let go of me!

[The wood plank breaks, more letter fly though the letterbox.]

Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!

Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?!

"Wasn't he already mad?"