Suno chanda-Kashmakash

tum mere ho mere

I went out of jia’s room in a rush as chachi came inside.my room was close so hers so I was able to make out the conversation between jia and chachi
“ kya hua, beta, mujhe batao agar arsal ne koi batameezi ki hai” chachi asked
“ nhi , bas mood off hai rukhsati ka aur walime ka sunke”
“ tum kaunsa dusre ghar ja rhi ho beta, yahin ho apne ghar , chalo ab ye sab chodoaur arsal ko paranthe banake de dena ,hum sab shopping k liye ja rhe hai.”

Jia didn’t reply for long time but her mother went out of room and downstairs.
“bana hi na de ye mere liye paranthe….” I said while a part of me hoped that she makes them.
I use my phone for a while then go downstairs. There is no one.
I am hungry but there isn’t anything in fridge.
Paka who mota bhai thoos gaya hoga.
I call
“jiaa”
No response.
“ jiaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
“ kya hai , kyun chilla rhe ho?”
She says while coming down the stairs .
“bhook lagi h”
“toh”
“toh??” she says with a puzzled expression.
“ toh kuch banao mere liye aur kya” I say.
“ nahi banaugi” she holds the phone and sits on the dining table.
“jia tum royi na mere kandhe pe toh uske badle mije bhi khana chaiye , jao banao.”
“dekhe mr zyada banne ki zarurat nahi hai,m koi zabardasti nahi lipti thi aur aainda bol mat dena iss baat ko warna…” she points her finger at me and threaten.
I go towards her and bend so that we are on eyelevel.
“ warna kya mrs arsal jamsed ali”
She seems a bit lost for a moment . her eyes soften.
I like this side. When she seems as if she needs someone and I want that someone to  be me.
All too soon her eyes become taunting , the other look gone away in a flash.
“warna tum pachtaoge ke tumhari behen ne meri entry tumhari zindagi me karayi.”
She stands and walks away.
I am very hungry but I don’t order from outside.
I want to see for how long she can be like this.
At 10 in night she enters my room with a plate.
I look away without seeing what she has made .
“ mera hai, tumhare liye nahi”
Then she starts eating.
My stomach makes a big rumble . I look away again
She laughs.
She stands and come near me.
“ sunno , zyada ban gaya , aajao kha lo”
I don’t go .
“bas itne natak ki zarurat nahi hai”
Still I don’t say anything and keep looking at my phone.
She is getting angry now. good she should know how I felt whole day.
She snatches the phone from my hand and throws it on bed.
“ jia-.”
She clasps a hand on my mouth and then say softly
“ bas, sorry”
Then she goes and sits on table waiting.
I go and sit.
We eat in silence. She made chole puri. It was nice.
It felt homely and something that I could do everyday.
“ tum itni confusing kyun ho?, bin baat ke gussa karti ho aur kabhi kabhi ye aise”
She just gives me a sad smile in answer.
“ my fiancé used to say the same .” she says.
It’s as if she has thrown fire on me.
“mujhe nahi sun na” I say. My heart is burning. I don’t know why.
“ dekho meri tumse pehle zindagi thi, aisa toh nahi hai….—”
I stand up and hold her by shoulders
“ mujhe nahi jan na , bol diya na, tum meri ho bass”
She pushes me away but I pull her to me , holding her tight .it feels as if I let her go , she will run or get away from me.
“ chodo ,pagal ho kya , dimaag nhi hai, gharwale aane wale hain tumhaare.”
“  nahi, tum meri ho”
She pats my back and says
“ theek h theek , abhi haath hathao”
I pull away suddenly getting conscious.
How can I fall for her so early.
Arjiya had same face I never felt something.
How ?
What will I do now?
Shit.