let me love you - jaylor AU

keep breathing

- joes Pov -

Day 1

«Your wife's injuries are extensive, but she made it through surgery, but she isn't out of the woods yet. The bullet went into her lung and caused damage that needed to be repaired. Now we just need to wait for her to wake up and take it from there. She also has a concussion from the fall to the ground, but we are watching that closely too» he says, and I take a deep breath. She is alive, focus on that, she is alive.

«Can I see her?» I say and fight the tears, now is not the time to cry again. «Of course. She is in another room on this wing. We had a room converted into an ICU room for her to keep her protected from the GP because of the circumstances» he says, and I follow after him not bothering to see if anyone follows me. All I want to do now Is see my wife and hold her.

I enter a room after her doctor and see her lie completely still in bed hooked up to a bunch of different machines. «The intubation tube helps her breath as she is still too weak to do so herself, that's why we have her sedated at the moment. The tube in her side is draining the blood from her damaged lung. We have medication running through the IV as well as fluids. She is also hooked up to a catheter. We are watching her like hawks to make sure that her condition doesn't deteriorate» he says and tell me that there is a nurse sitting 24/7 outside the glass wall of her room to keep an eye on her, the best ICU nurse in the hospital.

«Thank you. I would like a moment alone with my wife if you won't mind» I tell the doctors who all excuse themself.

Walking over to Taylor I take her hand in mine. She is still warm, but pale. «Baby, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here. I would like to think you can hear me though, so let's go with that» I say and drag a chair closer so I can sit and hold her hand. «My beautiful Taylor, I'm going to be here with you, we are going to get you well because life is better with you in it. It might be selfish, but I need you, I don't know what to do without you. So please fight baby»

I wish she would open her eyes, but they have her sedated so she obviously can't. Hopefully they will wean that soon so she can have a chance to wake up. Taylor has been through so much, this isn't going to be what takes her down, her father can't hold that power. He is dead and doesn't get to take his daughter with him.

«Joseph. Can we come in» my mother says from the door, I don't turn to them but just say that they can. I can't look at anyone else, I just need to look at Taylor. If I look at anyone else, she might just fade away from me.

«I sent Brendon to the house to get you some clothes, because I assume you want to stay here» my mother says and kiss the top of my head. I didn't even think about having stuff, so I don't need to leave, but I wasn't planning on ever leaving anyway. If I have to sleep on the goddamn floor, I will. Actually I will void sleep all together if that's what I need to do to stay here. I'm not going to leave her alone when she needs me the most. «Thanks mother. I appreciate it»

Everyone takes their turn to talk to Taylor from the other side of the bed, I won't give up my side. Every time someone touches her hand I tense, I don't want anyone else to touch her, but I can't be a bitch either. They love her too, not as much as me, but they care for her. I'm competitive, no one gets to love her as much as I do, it's not humanly possible actually.

Day 4

«So they weaned you off sedatives now baby, now it's all on your time when you are ready to wake up. I'm going to be right here with you though, you don't have to do this alone. For the rest of my life, I'm going to be by your side, okay? It's me and you against the world» I kiss her hand just as the nurse comes in with the stuff to give Taylor a sponge bath. They do it almost every day to keep her incisions from getting infected.