Winters Pansies

Chapter One-The Dorm

Chapter one
Three months ago I graduated high school and had ok grades not valedictorian level but enough to make my mom proud. She's always been proud of me after my dad died. She has to be proud of two people and be happy for two people except me for two people. I know dad would have been proud of me. His dad though my Grandfather, Charles, isn't proud of me. He thinks I should have a normal life in the box, but I don't live in a box neither did my dad. That's why dad stayed away from Charles.
Now though none of that matters I'm now in San Francisco going to California College of the Arts. Across the country where everyone I know and love is. I'm New york like New york my father said that living there helped him write his stories better he wrote romance and sci-fi stuff. All New York reminds me of is being alone with everyone knowing that my famous dad died.
A good way to describe who I am is that I'm Shy and closed off. I was like that to new people but now to everyone after what happened. I was the kid who sat in the corner of the library sketching away thinking about when I could go home to paint my new ideas. If you looked at my room in New York you'd see I painted almost everything in that room that could be painted on. Most of the time I paint my feelings or flowers, which ended up with my room being dark with little bits of color splashed around. I'd say that's how I dress, mainly grays with a pop of color under my eyes.
Walking into my dorm with my suitcase I have to share a room with someone. It's going to be strange. I've never shared a space with someone so intimately. It also means my art is going to be seen, even though I'm an art student I don't like to be connected to my art makes me uneasy. People already judge me for how I look. I don't need them to judge the one thing that keeps me going. The first thing I see when I walk into my dorm is that my roommate has already set up their side of the room. Imagine one of those tik tok rooms you see with the LEDs and tapestry that's what I'm seeing. I was told I'd be sharing a room with someone who is ok with non-binary people and will respect boundaries still is scary though. I tried to get my dorm room but my mom said I should try it for this year to be around people instead of being an art gremlin.
"OH hey," said someone coming out of the shared bathroom "I didn't hear you come in" the person now in front of me pulls out their earbuds staring at me.
"Hey," I said quietly "sooooo roomie what's your name I'm Ally or Alice" she says with a smile and a sing-song voice. "I'm Ender They/them pronouns"
"Right they told me my roomie was nonbinary, She/her pronouns"
I started shifting awkwardly on my feet, I was nervous; Ally seemed nice but she knew and has her own brain which is nerve racking.
"Wellllll ima go back to unpacking my stuff in the bathroom holler if you need me" Ally said as she walked back into the bathroom. I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. Then I started unpacking my stuff starting with clothes, then to my art stuff which is paints, brushes,and ect. After like two hours I finished putting away everything I flopped on my bed sighing. Ally left an hour ago to go explore the campus and meet up with friends. I was just exhausted from the move and the eight-hour plane ride. Before going to bed I looked at the ring I was wearing. It's the one my dad used to always wear when writing. Mom gave it to me after he passed saying it was "a good luck charm" . I don't know if it is but it makes me feel safe.