𝐓𝐡𝐞 Devil +18[Chaennie]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟗: 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

Jennie's POV. 

"What are you doing?" Jimin asks me.

I shrug because I honestly had no idea what I'm doing. I'm trying my damnedest to make the right decisions from here on out but I'm not sure what's right and what's wrong anymore. I'm not even sure what I want beyond Roseanne.

What I want always seems to be in constant conflict with what's right. I was wrong for being unfaithful. I was wrong for falling for Roseanne. I was wrong for walking out on Hanbin. How do I make the right decisions when what I want is wrong?

"I don't know Baby." I say defeated, letting my shoulders rest against the wall. "Everything I've done recently has been wrong and I don't know how to make it right."

"Don't worry so much about what's right and wrong. Follow your heart. Listen to your gut."

"I have."

"Then what's the problem?"

"My family's going to judge me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I judge myself."

"Who cares if they judge you? Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. You can't run from this."
"When have I ever ran?"

"You ran from Gyeonggi. You ran from Hanbin and now you're running from her." He says gesturing toward the door where Roseanne was. "You love her, right? You ripped your life apart to be with her."

"I need time to think but she won't give me that."

"Have you asked her for time?"

"Yes, but she doesn't hear me."

"Make her hear you. She's a fighter and you're a runner."

I let that sink in.

"She's fighting for you and you're running away. She's suffocating you because she's afraid of losing you."

"How do you know that?"

"That's what she's been doing this entire time." I suddenly felt idiotic.

She's fighting and I'm running.

"Why are you running?" Jimin asks brushing my hair out of my face.

"I feel guilty." I admitted "I'm so happy that I feel guilty. I destroyed the both of them. I don't deserve to be happy."

"Hanbin  isn't a victim. He knew what was going on and he ignored it. That's his mistake and he's paying for it. He'll be fine." My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. 

"Give me a hug."

"I love you so much." I tell him holding him too tight.

I felt so grateful to have Jimin in my life. Every goddamn time he made sense of the clusterfuck that was my actions.

It was all starting to come together like the plot line of an incredible story. I've always worried about what everyone thought of me my father, my brother, Hanbin and ignoring what truly mattered. I love Roseanne.

I fought it with everything I had while she fought for me. Even though we were together I still fought because of the guilt. I don't deserve Hanbin or Roseanne but I had them. I still have Roseanne. Fighting her makes me feel less guilty but it's hurting her. I don't want to hurt the person I love anymore. 

"I love you too. Be honest with her. Call me when you get back from Gyeonggi. We'll have a drink."

I nodded.