Sunday March 27, 2011
Dear journal,
What were those screams last night? I want to say that I was hallucinating but the screams were TOO real. It sounded like cries for help. Like nails scratching a chalk board.
I had a dream that I was on the ground outside under the stars but there was a man there. He had a mask on so I couldn't see his face and he had a knife in his hand. He kept making motions that should have left gashes in my stomach and my neck. I didn't feel it. How could I have felt it, it was a dream?
I put my journal back on the night stand I had by my bed.
"Hey, Mom," I shouted through the house. There was no answer. The house was silent. Where was she? Mom gets up and leaves a lot. If she needs something then she just gets up, walks out the door, and goes and gets whatever she needs without bothering to tell me.
More than likely she probably just went to the store to buy food and other essentials. I picked up my phone and almost called Jessica when I realized that she starts school today. I put my phone back in my pocket.
I need to meet new people.
I walked outside and texted my mom telling her I was going to the park.
When I got to the park there was NO ONE there. I sat on the swings and began to pump my legs.
PUMP. PUMP. PUMP. It became a rhythm.
When I was younger I loved the swings because I felt like a bird and I could go anywhere. I wished I would have been able to go anywhere because I didn't like where I was, my dad hit me...A LOT. My mom didn't do much. Just cleaned her fine china and cried a lot.
Now I like where I am. My mom still doesn't do much but I don't need her anymore. I can cook, Jessica can drive, and I have a job.......scratch that--HAD a job.
After a few of minutes and a lot more pumps someone started to walk towards me. I see a black jacket and blue jeans. The guy walking towards me looked to be about my age I started to pump slower- not attempting to stop but become less high.
"Hey, do you live around here? I've never seen you before," he said. I noticed he wasn't ugly.
"I just moved here. I live a few streets down. My name is Alex."
