Smitten by Her

Chapter 4 Epiphany

Anay's POV

Emotions.That's what i am going through for last few days.The emotions which i did not indulged till now after seeing what it does to crush your heart and scar your soul forever. It leaves you vulnerable to other's cruelty.We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our emotions influence and shape our desires, thoughts and behaviors and above all our destiny.And i do not want to make the same mistake that Daksh made due to which i almost lost him.
But then again they are not leaving me after trying every freaking method to distract myself.
Anvika.The sole reason for the predicament i am going through.
Her name itself leaves the saccharine taste in my mouth and heart in delight.
I am so frustated right now for my mind which is always astute is also betraying me along with my heart. It keeps repeating the encounters i had with her and glimpses of her when i literally stalked her to library, her favourite place. I think she has some fascination with isolated window
seats.There in library also she sats at the far end corner where almost no one goes.
Dressed in white, sun rays shining on her head making a halo, glowing skin eyes twinkling like stars, and a peaceful smile, i felt like watching an angel, a fairy who walked out of fairyland. I could not stop myself from taking her pictures which i keep watching when there is no one around.
And the most annoying of all them is the feeling of jealousy and possessiveness.I am territorial over her when she is not even my friend.Heck i dont want to be her friend, it leaves a bitter feeling in my heart to imagine her as my friend only.
When i watched her proposed by some bastard i almost lost my calm.Relief washed over me when she denied him.I wanted to break his bones right there only which i refrained from doing so as i didnt wanted anymore commotion.Last fight with that Sahil has already done enough damage to my image in her eyes.Again, i am not like this caring about what others think about me.
Sighing i went to mom to seek some comfort and in hope to get enlightened.
I went to her room, she was writing her thoughts on the mental health which was becoming seious issue among kids and teenagers.
"Mom", saying i put on head on her lap,the most tranquil place where one forgets all his worries.
She raked her fingers in my hairs massaging my scalp and i instantly felt the warmth i was in dire need of.
"You are disturbed.May i know why my dear?",she asked with smile.
"Mom, i am confused what to do. I am having conflicting feelings which i dreaded till now.Having constant clashes of notions has become the major activity of my mind. I just want to get out of this turmoil",i said exasperately.
She smiled and said,"Isn't it odd how much fatter a book gets when you've read it several times? As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar."
"This is how the emotions kept themselves alive even after you forget them or even when you try to deny them leading to conflicts with your own mind and heart. Your attempts to bury them will result into the outburst of them with full force because of which you will be tired out mentally. And according to doctors, its consequences are perilious. You will not be able to sleep and aggression, stress ,anger issues, anxiety ,and impatience will be your companions.And you possibly wouldn't want that, right my dear",mom said.
I breathed deeply."What should i do mom?".

Mom smiled,"Go with the flow.Don't deny your feelings , accept them.Instead of resisting them, you embrace them.And at last you will find solace which you are craving."Saying she kissed my forehead.

After the deep conversation with mom, i reached the conclusion that instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.
And i have decided to go with the flow as mom suggested. Come what may i will see it in the future.
And not every female is like Vanya. Mom,Jia and Sahana are completely different from that cheater.
May be she is also not like her, she can also be like mom. Innocence is reflected in her eyes which mirrors her inner feelings.
Now i have decided to take small steps towards my destination of solace that is her.

Right now me and few of my batchmates who are a part of Students Committee are responible to conduct freshers party for junior classes.

I along with my three friends are to inform the students of CS and civil branch about its schedule and invite them.After informing the civil, we are going towards cs branch.

As soon as we enter the first class the murmurings of the student quietens down and everyone looks towards us. My eyes immediately searched for brown hazel ones and again a window seat. She is sitting there along with my dear sister who blabbers all day about her new found friend.When Sahana sees them she waves at her and Jia who also smiles and waves at Sahana.
Sahana goes to podium and starts her well prepared speech.
"Hello dear juniors, we are here to invite you to this year's freshers party. You all are cordially invited to attend the same on this saturday at 4pm. Theme is masquerade based in which all of you will have to be dressed in formal gowns and masks will be provided by college only. You all have enough time for the preparation. There will be many fun activities which will be revealed on that day only. Hope you all will enjoy.Any questions?",she said.
"No mam",said the students chorusly.
"Good.See you.Bye",said Sahana.

Giving one last glance at her i along with my friends went to complete further preparations for the upcoming party.
I am quite excited for it as we will have some interesting stuff ready for the juniors.

Anay's POV ends.

After Anay and his friends went away whole class erupted in excited laughs and screams.Girls were going gaga over the handsome seniors that came to invite them and excited for the event, planning what they were going to wear and etc etc.
Boys were exicited for the fun part mentiomed by Sahana.
And here Anvika was little skeptical about going to party as she did not liked these type of crowded events. She is afraid that she will make joke of herself like in the past.
Seeing the hesistation of her face Jia understood that she does not want to come but Jia wanted Anvika to loosen up little. Although she has spent a few days with her she has come to know the introvert and reserved nature of Anvika and how she dont like things like parties and socialising.She understood her but she also wanted her to have a little fun so that she does not regret later that when she could she did not do it.
"You will come right",asked Jia.
"Umm, I am thinking to not go", Anvika said hesistantly.
"Anvika, i understand why dont want to come but i will be very happy if you will come.I am not forcing you but you also need break from the daily boring life. I know for you break will be not like partying and all but believe me it will also elevate your mood."said Jia sincerely.
Listening her Anvika was half convinced to come, she should try one more time may be this time she will not be disappointed and Jia is her first friend here who always supports her, she should not break her heart.
"I will think about it Jia",said Anvika smiling.
Jia smiled thinking that if Anvika agrees they will have a lot of fun.

When classes for day got over, Anvika and Jia walked outside of gate where both their rides were already present. They waved at each other and went home.

At night Anvika was thinking while watching the stars sitting in her balcony filled with different types of plants, snake plant, moss rose,asparagus, turtle wines and creepers.

"What are you thinking so deeply that you didnt even notice my presence?",asked Yug, her brother.
Anvika smiled and shaked her head.
"There is freshers party in my college and i am confused to go or not.My friend Jia who i told you about requested me to join. She thinks i should take a break and have some fun.What should i do?",said Anvika making pout.
"You should do what your heart tells you to do but i would also suggest you to live your life. You will not get these days back, when everyone will reminisce about their college in future they will have some memories to cherish, i dont want you to have nothing worth to remember. So, decision is yours and i will support you no matter what.Our family will support you no matter what okay.Now stop overthinking and sleep, its time. Goodnight and sweet dreams my princess."Yug said and kissed her forehead.
She smiled and went to sleep.

So, Chapter 4 is here.

Finally, Anay has come to terms to accept the ongoings with his heart and is ready to go with the flow.But will time go with his flow.We will see.

Wonder who is Vanya and why Anay hates her?

And Freshers party is going to take place.Whether Anvika will get sweet memories to cherish or traumatic experience that will frighten her to lifetime.
Time will tell.

I hope you like the chapter.

Pls vote and comment.

Thank you
Yours Truly
AG.