I walk into his first day of my senior year in high school. My 18th birthday, which was a month ago, was the worst birthday of my life. My closeted boyfriend couldn't find the courage to come out to his friends, so he broke up with me. Ever since then, I have felt so damn ugly, like I wasn't hot or cool enough for him to be proud to be my boyfriend. Or that his friends would laugh at him for it. Even when we were dating, he would tote this girl around with us to make it seem like they were dating rather than me and him. It always cut deep when I got home and looked in the mirror. When I looked at my face and body differently, with so much disgust that I could've thrown up. I was either too skinny or too mean or too worried. He always found my deepest insecurities and poked at them. He was so nice at first, but then he just hurt me. Since then, I have been so dull and lifeless. I walked into the building with my head held low, looking at my feet, avoiding all eye contact. When I finally looked up, I saw my best friend. My best friend's name is Cam. I run up to her, suddenly feeling so relieved and excited. I hug her tightly. We tell each other about our summers and joke about how boring they were. We were so busy that we haven't met up in months. I didn't really want to bring it up, but I had to tell her about my break up. Suddenly, I felt tears running down my face. She hugs me tightly, comforting me. When I sit back up and look behind her, I see it. I see what I never wanted to see. I see his smug little face with that girl from before and she was wearing his hoodie. I got up, my stomach rumbling. I ran to the bathroom, into a stall, and threw up into the toilet, crying. I walk back to class, tears flooding down my face, the only words running through my head are "Why am I not good enough?" "Why is she so perfect?" "Why am I so ugly?" "WHY AM I NOT SPECIAL, OR SEXY, OR FUCKING CUTE ENOUGH FOR YOU!?" My brain screams in my head. I knock on the door. I still there in silence, waiting. The door opens to him. I give him my dirtiest look, tears rolling down my face. He looked concerned. Just as I sit back down, the bell rings.
"Great," I say.
YOU ARE READING
it's about letting go of control and doing what your heart desires
RomanceWill a boy watch his wildest dreams collapse in front of his eyes? a boy finds himself stuck inside a sticky situation when he sees the boy of his dreams. the only problem being that he feels so uncomfortable talking to him and he doesn't know if it...
