Billie Eilish smut and imagines (slow updates)

Short Sad Imagine 😐

I felt my heart beat out of my chest. Realizing that my thoughts were right. I was right. I was right. I repeat over and over through my ugly mind. So stupid my thoughts going only along those lines. I'm so selfish. So so selfish. To think I actually loved her. I do love her. I do. I do. No I don't I'm a selfish being. I am not selfish I love her with my body.

She's gorgeous. She's perfect. She's my world. She's my everything. My will to live. I was right. No that's wrong. I was right, but I didn't help her. She needed help, yet I put it to the side. I put it to the side thinking it was something small. Something along, her parents divorcing, her insecurities, yes those don't seem small. But she didn't want me to worry. She told me,

"These are small things baby, they will go away."

She spoke so fluently, I believe her. Her voice, her eyes, her perfect face. I listen to her voice thinking this can't go wrong. What to think. What to do. What would I do if I cared.

I do care. I do care. I repeat.

No. No you don't. If you did, she wouldn't be dead.

I didn't know she would die from those hideous thoughts. Those thoughts are dangerous. I know that. Why didn't I warn her? I know what those thoughts can do to you. I experience it everyday. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I whisper silently, "Fuck."

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

Gradually getting louder as I speak.

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

I yell now feeling my anger again.

"Fuck!"

I bang my hands against my head harshly.

"Fuck!"

I sob loudly and hit the air, having a hissy fit.

"Fuck!"

I fall to the ground.

"Fuck!"

I hit the ground repeatedly.

"I'll ask nicely."

I suddenly calm down.

"Give her back."

I state.

"I'm asking nicely."

I look around for them. I spin my head in odd directions. I clench my jaw.

"Give her back."

"Give her back, you freaks."

I state calmly.

"Fuck!"

I yell again. It's my fault. It's my fault. I grip the grass, feeling it between my fingers. I lift my right hand. I reach into my pocket. Pulling a pocket knife out, flicking it open. I stare at the sharp tip. I drop my hand to the ground. I felt my energy drain from my tired body.  I lift my hand again. I bring the knife to my neck. Feeling that sharp pain, bringing me happiness. I'll be with her again. As I felt my cracked lips pull together and smile. I pull the knife down my neck quickly.

Happiness that's all I want. She's my happiness.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Wow that was sad. Sorry I don't update that much. I am busy, and tired. I also have school :). I will try to upload again this week! Have a nice day.

"We Are Not Here To Look Mistakes Of One, For You Are Attempting Towards Direction One Of Making your Own" Khode Manish V. (I'm not sure about the first name.)