Sleep Paralysis: My Body Might Kill Me

Chapter 1: Wake Me Up

Chapter 1: Wake Me Up

2:00 a.m. Most people are usually asleep by now, or just getting home from their nightly party-hops.

 Yet, I lay here fully awake, alert to every single sense around me.

 I feel and see and hear everything from the fan’s centrifugal motions, which cast dim shadows upon my wall, the slight creaking of floorboards as my house begins to wind down from the day’s activity, and the faint rising and dropping of my diaphragm. Usually, I would begin my normal process of rolling onto my side and slowly letting my body relax. Sleep would often find me in a few minutes; and at that time, I would gladly take it in and enjoy whatever amount of slumber I could receive.

Easier said than done.

Tonight was no different than the night before, or the night before that. I close my eyes, take deep breaths, and think of the happiest thoughts imaginable—ice skating in the wintry park, driving along the countryside, lying in the fields of wheat.

 I’m not naïve; I know that I’m not “Peter Pan;” I understand that no happy thought in the world can release me from this dreamlike state. Even still, I welcome the idea.

Once you close your eyes, you’re no longer in control.

I’m not sure how long it takes for my body to “wake up,” for is it woken up at all?

My eyes flutter open, but, at first, remain glued in a state of tunnel-vision. My faint breath now accelerates as my mind registers what’s occurring.

I can’t move.

Paralyzed in fear, my eyes unlock and begin to roam freely around my room. As I feel a sort of pins and needles sensation, I begin to sink into my bed. At least, I think that I’m sinking lower and lower. Lights begin to flash from corner to corner and I feel a presence near me, tugging at my limbs, sitting on my chest, suffocating me.

I’m going to die, I keep thinking. My body is going to suffocate, and I’m going to die terribly frightened in my sleep.

The same creature that sits on my chest also keeps my eyes open, staring intently at the ceiling. I know that this sensation will surely pass, but in the moment, I feel no way out of the horror.

Slowly, the numb sensation in my toes begins to lessen as I return back to my world. My eyes close peacefully, and I’ve fallen back to sleep.

My name is Jasmine Rose, and I’m a victim of “sleep paralysis” and “sleep apnea.”

As I wake up completely, the night’s abuse stays imprinted in my head, and I usually tremble over to my “sleeping log” to record each detail.

What’s worse? Today is the first day of my sophomore year.

Even worse still? Compared to high school, night terrors are practically Disneyland.