LOVE (to stay or to let go)

When Everything Started

"People may come and go you just need people that will make you happy even if the ending is not good "

Hi I'm Faye I've been in a lot of relationships (well 6 is a lot na for me), It started when I'm 14 years old. I had boyfriends just for fun. Wanna know why?

Beacause I'm the kind of girl who always feel that I'm useless, that my existence does'nt matter at all. that If I dont have a boyfriend no one will like me or no one wants me.

That's why everytime I broke up with someone It is a must that after 3 days at most I have a new boyfriend. I'll defend myself It's a habit I guess I broke up with them whenever I feel I'm not Important. As a teenager It is normal that we don't go deeper in a relationship cause we're too young for that.

I don't take relationships seriously until I met him, He's my first love, He's the guy that made made feel like I'm a princess.

To describe him basically He's a bad boy but sweet whenever he's with me. He gave me gifts and surprises me whenever he come to see me. Honestly I fell for him because he's sincere and took an extra mile to make me feel special.

Syempre me as a typical teenager that want to be loved naappreciate ko sya.

A considered a  long distance relationship since it's an hour ride and para sa batang katulad ko di ko afford mapagtravel .

I can say he was my first love ......

I was happy.....

I am appreciated.....

I feel like I am an important person...

pero sabi nga nila once na sobrang masaya ka may kalungkutan na darating sayo.

and that day came.....

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Honestly speaking alam naman natin mga batang 90's kung gaano ka strikto and conservative ang parents natin. 

Well kung hindi ganun sainyo edi sana all hahhah.

My family is very  strict with regards sa relationships kasi they are afraid na mapariwara kami or mapunta kami sa maling landas kahit sinong magulang naman ata so yun na nga strict ang parrents ko .

So me na panganay na anak is very mahinhin, mahiyain and very bounded by the rules.laging nasa  isip baka mapagalitan so behave ako. I am an angel hahahha sa ugali ko na ganito I felt neglected.

I mean   sincce hindi ako pasaway the tendency is wala saakin yung attention kasi alam nila na behave naman ako. All their attention is on my sister.

Ayun alam nyo yung  tipo ng bata na nag seself pity sa tabi pero di nila dapat makita na sad ka. So ayun na nga very stict sila sa relationships ayaw nila na magka boyfriend na hindi pa tapos sa pag aaral.
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This happened when my mom went to manila to make sundo my papa and will stay there for 3 days. So that time medyo bwelo ako na makipag text/chat or even have a date with my boyfriend kasi wala namang bantay. we were happy going around playing around then suddenly nakita kaming pinsan ko.

I thought i could trust her and we will pretend that nothing happened pero wala pag uwi nila mom sampal ang salubong saakin. Bato ng baso na malapit tumama sa mukha ko, mga gamit ko na linalagay na sa maleta dahil i hahatid na daw ako sa bahay ng boyfreind ko kasi gusto ko na magasawa.

BOYFRIEND lang yun. BOYFRIEND!!

pero imbis na sumagot di ako umimik,umiyak lang ako ng umiyak begging them na ayokong lumayas sa bahay. I am too dependent sa family ko na kaya ko iwan lahat wag lang family ko. I know I am inlove with him but not to the point that i'll choose him over my family.

That night my dad toldme to call him and if he answered si papa ang kakausap he asked him if kaya nya na kong panindigan at ihahatid na ko sakanila. Di ko alam pinag usapan nila but my dad told me nadi daw ako kayang ipag laban kaya iwaasan ko na. Kaya ayun confiscated yung celphone ko.

After ilang days I reieved a message on facebook (desktop) and that is my boyfriend explaining things to me. ayun nag risk ulit ako perobago pa man namin maipagpatuloy ang relasyon namin nahuli ni mama  na  mag kachat kami telling me

"Di ka talaga masabihan no? Gusto mo na mag asawa? sige na hatid ka na namin. wag na wag ka ng babalik ha"

those words teriffied me so I decided to broke up with him on my BIRTHDAY.!!

Happy Birthday to me ....