Inspired by Taylor Swift's Midnight rain 🤍
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We were freshmen when we first met each other. He was Majoring in Arts & Design while i was Majoring in Medical Biology. His dreams were simple; to live a long and happy life with a family he wanted to create with me. But mine was just too different from his– it's higher than you'll ever imagine.
One rainy afternoon, i decided to go alone in the cafe near my condo since my midterm exam just ended. I was sipping my usual iced coffee when someone placed a strawberry cake on my table. "Hello, is this seat beside yours vacant?" I looked up to see a man, smiling from ear to ear. With his half-moon shaped eyes, sharp pointed nose, a heart-shaped lips and a well-toned body with his white polo shirt and a khaki trousers– this man is just too good to be true.
"Hey miss..." I zoned out a little. "Can i sit here?" Gosh! That smile! "Uh..ye..yeah, of course." I smiled awkwardly.
And just like that, our story began. The first and second year of our relationship was definitely the best time i've ever had in my life. I never knew life can be that fun.
"Love, it's our 2nd anniversary tomorrow right?" I was cooking dinner when he suddenly rest his head on my shoulder and hugged me from behind. I smiled. "Yeah, what's the matter?" I looked at him. "Guess what i have here!" He suddenly showed a 2 VIP tickets for Blackpink Concert.
"Loveeeee!" My heart jumped in happiness, i got teary eyed. I pouted and immediately hugged him with all my might. "But love.. how? This is too pricey to fit in your monthly allowance right?" I loosen the hug and looked at him. "I got a part time job a month ago.." He paused. "I'm sorry i didn't tell you, i just don't want you to worry..." He caressed my cheeks that made me feel butterflies in my stomach.
I suddenly remember the times when he's always asleep when he's at my condo. Ugh, this man! How lucky i am to be his first girlfriend. "You know, i can do anything for your happiness, love.. Can i see my baby's pretty smile?" Oh good Lord, thank you for bringing this man to my life... "I love you, Soo.." He softly kissed my forehead.
It was our fourth year in relationship when we had our biggest argument. He accidentally spilled coffee on one of my anatomy drawing. He was aware that time that i had to finish those by midnight, but he insisted on going to my condo, so such thing happened.
But how can i not forgive him? When he never failed to surprise me every single day.
He's a nice man. The nicest i've ever met to be exact. He never left my side even once. He never complained, he always support and understand. He made my life filled with so much love that i've never received before. He completes me.
It was our fifth year anniversary but because i had tons of workload those days, i unintentionally forgot. It was past 6 in the evening when i received a phone call from him. He sounds like a kid who's excited about something.
"Happy Anniversary Love!" He cheerfully said on the other line. I looked at my phone and realized what i forgot. "Happy Anniversary!" I awkwardly replied.
"Can we meet today?" I looked at the books on my table. I looked down and sighed. "Of course love.. Where?" I forced myself to smile.
Our relationship continued. And even though i have to prioritize my studies more, he's always there ready to adjust his schedules for me, for our dates. He never got mad, he always try his best to understand my situation. How truly blessed i am right?
7 years in the relationship, and we're both already 25 back then. It was the most difficult year for me, i was so busy that we barely see each other. 2-3 times a month? But you know, how he loves me since day one never change, even a bit. He's still the Haein i met at the café.
We never really know what comes next in our life.. It is indeed unpredictable, and we just gotta accept our fate. I never thought life would be cruel to us a year after that. Mom and dad met me and made me choose between him or to continue the career i wanted since i was little.
My heart shattered into pieces. I love him, i do really love him... but back then, i thought that there's so much more into life that i still haven't find out. I didn't met him for weeks, i distanced myself to ppl, i just cry and cry and cry. It was really hard for me those times, i do not want to leave him.. but how about my dreams?
A month after, i had the courage to face him again. I called him and by the sound of his voice from the other line.. he sounded so happy.. My heart just breaks even more.
"Let's break up.." I removed the promise ring he gave on our 3rd year anniversary. His eyes started raining, i can see the pain as my words stabbed his heart little by little. "Love, you're joking right?" I turned my face away from him. I can't stand seeing him like this, it's making my knees weaken.
I stood up to leave him but his hands on mine stopped me. "Love please..." He got into his knees, crying, begging me not to leave him. I bit my lips and forced myself not to cry. But i can't– i can't bear seeing him like this, so i left. And that's the last time i saw him.
My parents let me studied overseas to start again. I thought i can forget him, but look at me now... I'm 45, and had finally reached my dreams. I am now a Cardiologist in one of the most prestigious Hospital in Switzerland.
It was a busy day in the emergency room, and i just finished checking some of my patients when someone who's lying in a stretcher rushed inside. My heart beats fast as my eyes widen when i saw who the person is.
I was flastered. It was my first love, Haein. "Doctor, it's cardiac arrest." I came back to my senses when the nurse got in front of me.
I walked towards him, i pulled myself together and started doing CPR and soon used defibrillator. My eyes started pouring. Please, please.. Wake up...
"Doctor.. you're hurting the patient, please stop it already." The nurses were already stopping me but i'm hoping that maybe a miracle can happen today.. Please Lord, let me save him... I cried, i begged the Lord, but that afternoon, the heaven's not on my side..
I stopped.
"18th of December, 2021, 11:11 A.M, Patient Jung Haein passed away."
My knees weakened. This can't be....
"Doctor Kim, you're related to him right? We found these in the patient's bag." An envelope and a necklace..... I started crying again when i realized what the pendant is.. It's the promise ring i gave back to him the day i broke up with him..
With my eyes full of tears, i slowly opened the envelope and there's a letter.. for me.
Dearest Soo,
Would i still be alive when you finally read this? I hope so.. because i still want to see you, hug you, adore you and kiss you. I still want to create more memories with you, i hope i'm not too late? Hehe.. It's already been 19 years and my heart's still longing for you. 19 years, but still, you're the only one for me.
Love i hope you know that i am very proud of what you've become. Ever since you left, i always prayed to Him, to guide the every steps you'll take. And as expected, i know you'll get there. Your sister sometimes sends me pictures of you with your doctor attire and i can't help myself tear up a little.
Last month, i visited my Doctor. Actually love, i have something i didn't tell you about when we're together. I actually have a heart disease. I couldn't say it to you, i'm afraid it'll stress you out more.. I don't want to see you worrying about me, i just want my baby's pretty smile.. remember?
Now that i've found out that i only have a few months to live, i had the courage to find and meet you again. I just hope you'll not send me away... Anyways, today is my flight to Switzerland. I wish that we're finally together with our head resting on each other, while sipping our favorite coffee when you read this.. May luck choose me this time. Wait for me, okay?
Please know that i will love you with all my heart, even in the next lifetime Sooya.. See you!
Love,
Haein.
