sins of my youth. // Billy Hargrove x oc !plus size

006 ➶ Hard Candy

A/N: Aftermath of the dance! We learned about the rest of Billy's night. Both babies struggling before school starts up again. **Thanks for reading, comment or vote if you enjoy the story. TW: Pica and self loathing. Mentions of creepy guy behavior.

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   "Anyone up?"

"No, everyone is hungover." Evie looked around. Everything frosted this morning like a peaceful snow globe. Eternal winter. Gorgeous and destructive. She didn't kiss Fredrick goodbye. "Thank you."

"We'll talk again when school starts up. Don't call, it's too risky."

"But-"

"I'm just...risking everything to be with you, do you know that?"

He snatched her wrist when he said that. Pressed down on the pulse there. It sped.

"Yes...I'll be careful. Do you still love me this morning?" Unsure of what answer would scare her more.

He smiled, grip loosening.

"Yes."

That sufficed. Evie slid out in her dress from yesterday. Watched some dead leaves whirl through the forest before she got onto the sidewalk. Cherry Lane awaited. Bowers turned his car on to slip away unnoticed so she could walk to her house. Mona's car was gone which meant errands.

And whoever her mother brought home to celebrate the New Year with hadn't stayed.

Evie had the displeasure of running into a few at breakfast. These men who never lasted. Who froze like a deer in headlights to offer sheepish smiles as if she was stupid about why they were there. Who thought they'd be back. Ha ha. Thankfully, Mona mostly slept with guys not from Hawkins.

Billy's Camaro was nowhere in sight either. Evie went into her house. Greeted Bourbon and crossed to the bedroom. The mess there replayed all of last night again. Dresses strewn all over her bed. Makeup spread on the vanity.

Evidence of a girl excited to have a great night. With a striking boy. Where she felt beautiful. She pictured herself holding dresses against her body at the mirror. Spinning. Happy.

Wishes.

Evie sucked in some air. Tied her hair back. Hung each dress up again. Pulled her own garment off and tossed it in the trash.

"Maroon is stupid." She mused in her bra and underwear. "You should have worn blue." Sighing to sit at the vanity, fingers rubbed her eyes pink. She organized makeup. Tried and failed to avoid the reflection in the mirror.

Her mother wouldn't want to hear of this. So, Evie tried to look on the bright side. Pressed her palms flat. Looked at the mirror.

"I danced with a boy. A pretty boy and he made me feel..."

Isn't it funny? Pretty funny. The words caught. Piled up and went back down her throat. Perched like they could become a scream but never returned with a vengeance.

She looked at her skin. Excess flesh. It didn't always bother her. Evie knew what she looked like and how the world preferred to see her.

A fist banged into her collar. Growling, she beat at herself. Unable to stop. Weak little bashes against herself.

"Why?" She clenched. "Why do you look like this!"

Fists rubbed her eyes again raw so no tears could flow. Nothingness. Just her soul spinning out of control all sweet and silent. She always did the world and her mother that courtesy. No use crying over spilled milk, just appreciate what you have. Depression and anger, those were ungrateful little phases and pushing them aside was ingrained into her synapses.