Suffering in Silence (a Rescue Bot Academy fanfiction)

Chapter 18

I began to wake up, or at least gain consciousness again. I sighed as my optics online. I noticed that I was being held by someone, and when I looked up, I froze as I saw Heatwave. When my memories of the previous night returned, I began to relax again. Honestly, it was quite nice to be here, no matter how many times he had hurt me in the past. I could not fall asleep, but I did not want to move. I was worried, I had a feeling that something was off and something very wrong was going to happen. But the thought left my mind as Heatwave began to move, so I immediately offlined my optics so he would assume I was asleep. He sighed and got up with me still in his arms. He moved to his desk as he did some work as I stayed in his arms. However, I ended up onlining my optics again, yawning, moving so I could look out at what he was doing, but he ended up turning off the datapad.

"Morning Hotshot," Heatwave stated as I moved to sit on the desk, facing him. My feet were still on his legs, as I muttered a morning. "You feeling better?"

"Kinda. I still feel down, but, I am feeling better than I was last night," I stated looking down. We fell silent, as my anxiety began to rise a little, as I began to mess around with my hands. Heatwave eventually grabbed my hands as I looked up at him, slightly afraid. He sighed.

"Stop playing with your hands, it's not doing you any good," he sighed as I looked back down. He did not let go, but I got my hands free as I started to play around with one of his hands before he could pull it back. He, however, did not seem to mind as I messed around with his hand. "Do you hate me?"

"What?" I asked, confused at the question that he just asked me. He was looking down at his hand that was in my hands, as I had stopped messing around with his hands when he asked the question. I tilted my head as he looked at me in my optics.

"Do you hate me?" he asked again, looking down again. I looked down, stunned by the question. He thinks I hate him. Do I hate him? I did not really know if I hate him. It got me thinking as I continued to play around with his hand. I do not think I really hated him, not even disliked him. I guess I just wanted him to notice me, especially since the rescue academy was the first place that felt like home to me since I became an orphan.

"No, I don't think I ever did hate you," I stated as I felt his eyes on me as I looked back at him. He was looking at me confused. "I believe I wanted you to notice me without going hard on me. I just wanted your approval, especially since I have barely been noticed outside Cube. I never really had a place to call my own, and I felt like the academy was home, but I felt unwelcome there. That is why I ran away, I felt out of place, unnoticed, and when you yelled, it hurt a lot."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking back down at his lap. I looked down again, as it was silent once again. I let him have what he had again as neither of us moved until I stood up, unbalanced, as I allowed myself to catch my balance by leaning forward and giving him a hug. I smiled as he hugged me back, pulling me closer to him. I felt myself relax in his hug, as he sighed against me. After a few moments, I pulled back, still standing on him as he held me, helping me with my balance. He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, I should have noticed it a lot sooner."

"The past is the past, even if I am facing something from my past. I never told you much about myself, and I know I wasn't the easiest recruit either, I was kinda arrogant," I told as he chuckled at the last part. "I should probably head out before the others begin to worry that I ran away."

"Probably," he agreed, giving me a small smile. I gave him another hug before I ran out to meet up with everyone and hopefully apologize to Ultrastrike.

Heatwave's POV

I watched Hotshot leave, a small smile on my face. He is a good kid. I sighed as I looked back at my desk as the last few days caught up to me. I can not believe how strong Hotshot has been and I did not even know how some of the others are taking it. I know the other recruits are having a hard time, and I feel like they should go back with the other professors. Though, despite bringing it up to them, they refused. I was so lost in my thought, I did not notice when someone entered.