How I Love You | Kim Namjoon

14

Namjoon sighs in relief as his body hits the bed, craving its comfort after a long day filled with meetings and Seokjin's annoyingly infectious laugh bugging him during their breaks. But he expects this tiredness, with the year coming to an end and his team beginning to crunch down the numbers and see how well they did this time.

It's when he comes home that he gets to be at peace, as he's now able to work through his workaholic and perfectionist ways to find a balance.

Though he's still learning to fully manage it, he's made progress, something he's reminded of as he turns to his side and finds you, bundled up in your favorite jacket of his, the lightest of your touches on him.

Your eyes flutter open to take a peek and then drift close again, as you see him seated with his laptop, his eyes focused behind the browline glasses you got him for his birthday that's miraculously still intact.

"I thought you're done with that, love," you say sleepily. "You're meeting with your agent tomorrow."

He hums, smiling at the words; he didn't think he'd get here so soon. He realized that a way for him to not lose sight of himself, and of you and your marriage by extension, is to make sure that he finds time to satiate his need for this - to write, to imagine, to explore. To create. And so, after much thought, he'd picked up the manuscript that had gathered dust in his office and saw there was so much he could work with, and that's what he did.

He'd reached out to an old friend who's now a literary agent and here he is, ready to share something he treasures with his whole heart, mostly because of who inspired him to continue it.

"Just a final touch-up, babe. I won't take long," he replies.

"Okay, but finish soon," you say with your eyes still closed. "It's cold and I want you. We want you."

He kisses your hand that's next to him in response and looks back at the screen. He's been stuck for a while, oddly taking longer in coming up with the right words for this, more than the ones he'd used to write everything else.

He turns to you again - his clarity, his light, his heart.

Namjoon types the final sentences as he thinks as to who this story is for.

To my wife, I love you. I always wished there was a better word than 'love.' But I couldn't find it, so we made it instead; we made her.

To Sarang, you're all the words I could not find. You're our greatest gift, and I cannot wait to meet you. This is for you.