Holding On

ᴛᴇɴ

Zain held the woman in his arms tighter as she cried her heart out, the pain radiating from her causing distress to press tightly on his chest. Her sobbing thankfully gave way to hiccups until she stilled in his arms, having fallen asleep.

Minutes later, he was still awake, reliving what had just happened. In all the years he'd known Emma, he'd never seen her like this. So broken, so vulnerable. He'd always believed she was this strong, indefatigable woman who was cruel because it was part of her nature.

It'd never occurred to him that she had always been pretending, that deep down, she was still a frightened little girl who was too scared of falling in love, pushing people away while she sought comfort in her accomplishments.

Right now a variety of different emotions were running through Zain. Sadness, anger, dread, regret. Sadness because of the pain thoughts about Emma's past caused her. Anger at the father who hadn't cared and had ruined her for other men. Dread because he knew that he was falling deeper and deeper into the abyss where his feelings for Emma were concerned. And regret because now more than ever, he was sure that his decision to not let what they had to go beyond the weekend was the right one.

It was the best choice for both of them. Emma wanted to be with him now- the man he was now. Soon he wasn't going to be that same man anymore. What would happen then? Would she leave? Would she stay and continue to be with him out of pity, feeling tied down?

He couldn't deny that he was doing this more for himself. When things changed in the future, even if she forced herself to stay, he didn't want to see the pity in her eyes. The disdain, the bitterness, the regret.

It would drive him crazy. It was better they parted this way, while he was still the same man. For the first time since he'd met Emma, he was going to put himself first.

He had to let her go.

*****

The ride back to the city was filled with silence. Tense, deafening silence, and yet Emma couldn't hear what it was trying to tell her. Or was she just refusing to hear?

This morning, they'd made love one last time at the chalet before setting off for the city. Zain had barely said a word to her. Her thoughts raced with so many questions it made her dizzy with the fear and anxiety the thoughts evoked.

In the car, even though she knew that he noticed her turning to look at him every other second, he didn't even bother to turn her way and offer her a small smile. His eyes were focused on the road, his gaze unreadable. The uncertainty of their relationship from here on gnawed malignantly at her flesh.

It took Zain clearing his throat for her to realize they'd reached her location which she'd given him. He finally spared her a look. Emma stared back at him, waiting, expecting him to lean forward and press his mouth to hers.

A soft kiss that would nonetheless promise her that there was more to come.

“See you at your fashion house tomorrow, Emma.” He said instead.

Her heart sank. She had been in a fool's paradise, thinking this weekend had also meant more to him than just sex.

She could barely hide her disappointment as she stared at him. She wanted to scream at him. She couldn't believe he was doing this after she'd bared so much of the person she was to him, both physically and emotionally.

“See you, Zain.” She said instead.

With eyes burning, she grabbed her small duffle bag from the back seat, opened her door, and stepped out of the car. She didn't turn to look as he sped away. The tears finally fell.