The Darkness Between Us || [C.L.]

// f o u r t e e n

The next two weeks went fairly quickly, all things considered. The Spanish GP passed with Charles earning P6, which he seemed neither pleased nor disappointed with. He called Nina nearly everyday, but had gone on a trip to Marseille with his mother and younger brother, Arthur, for a few days on his weekend off which meant contact had naturally broken down a little.

Rosie returned to the flat nearly a week after leaving. She seemed a little off, and Nina couldn't help notice how she was going out nearly every night and coming home drunk, if at all. If it carried on, she would intervene, but for now, it seemed like a way to blow off steam after such a huge life change.

Terry had loved the poem Nina sent him, and had agreed to publish it, along with the others. A few days later, he messaged her about potentially writing an article for a literature magazine, which she agreed to. Once that was submitted, he wondered if she would be interested in a flexible freelance contract with him, stating that it was going better than he had originally thought it would. He guaranteed to match her current salary, and she happily accepted. She had not told anyone of this. She was already half-way through her notice period, but not a soul knew of it. It felt fragile, like if she poked it too hard, it would shatter.

By Saturday, things were feeling weird, and not necessarily in a good way. Nina tried to ignore this, but the reflection of a greasy haired girl in the mirror was a painful reminder.

Rosie had gone AWOL, Charles had gone AWOL, and so much was changing that it took all of Nina's might to not throw up each time she thought about it.

It was confusing, too. It was like all this happiness was right there and it looked so close that Nina could swear she could reach out and grab hold of it, but each time she tried, there was something in the way. It was so thinly veiled, but ultimately, impossible.

It was just a blip, really, in the grand scheme of things. They came, they happened, they left. Nina had to keep reminding herself, but still, she couldn't help but think of how things were before and see similarities.

Back then, it had been hard to eat. She didn't sleep for months. She hardly moved, really. It was just shaking and cigarettes and crying and trying to keep her head above water so that it wouldn't drown her.

That door had been closed for a long time. She had taken peaks through it once in a while, sure, but this was the first time it felt like it had opened enough to let things creep in.

It all began the day she left home. It was a period of time she never allowed herself to revisit, barred in firmly to the dungeons of her memory. But right now, it was there, all playing out before her no matter what she did to try and stop it.

Her mum lay on the floor, pale, convulsing. There were sirens all around the house, people in uniform trying to calm Nina down. She never understood why they were trying to calm her down, because all she did was stare. She didn't scream, or cry, or say anything at all. She had just frozen, unable to blink or even breathe.

At that point, Nina had been sofa-surfing for a few months. She had just got back from a friend's house to see if her mum was okay, if she was eating, if she was sleeping. If she was sober. This was the scene that greeted her.

"Are you a relative?" The police officer kept asking, over and over. All Nina did was nod, although it had been a long time since they had felt like family at all.

They were crowding around her, pumping, doing whatever the fuck it was they did. In the end, they were successful. They said her heart stopped beating for a whole minute. Then, they whisked her away in the ambulance.

Nina visited her the next day, after spending the night staring at the wall. She was asleep. She looked unhappy, even when she was resting. After around half an hour, she woke up.