Forbidden to Love [unusual1D fanfiction] - rewriting

Chapter Nine, "Home Is Where You Are"

Chapter Nine

Home Is Where You Are

-         “My mind is proud but it aches with rage”

I remember the last time I felt like this, the last time my gut told me to turn around and don't leave. It was an early spring morning. The pearly rays of the sun played on my eye lids and woke me up to a fine morning. It took only few steps towards the window pane to see and feel the difference. The air smelled earthy and the bird's lullaby sounded sad, like they were mourning a great loss.

It was the day I had been looking for. Today my parents, Isa and I were headed to Paris.

To see the beautiful city that has been described in so many movies were every girls dream.

But then why did I feel nauseous? My mind screamed louder for every step I took. Every bit of my body ached as I got closer to the airplane. I would be stupid not to know that something was up, and I don't know why I didn't yield and stayed home with Erina instead.

Perhaps it was because I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me, or maybe it was the fact that it was Paris I was traveling to.

But isn't it strange? How one simple decision can make such a change? How can one event cause such a transformation in so many lives? If I only had waited for a moment and taken a second to clear my thoughts, then I would maybe notice the small clues that Mother Nature was trying to give me.

You know what they say; it's no use to think of the past, you can't change what have already happened. But it's hard to forget when there is blood on my hands. When I woke up in the middle of the night drowning in sweat, for five whole months. I try to stay busy and keep my mind distracted so the thoughts won't come back.

Pain, how come pain is my best friend?

I'll start to explain before you start pulling out your hair in frustration, you must know why that exceedingly feeling was so excruciatingly important.

It all happened years ago, sometime before I auditioned for The X-Factor. I had been looking forward to seeing Paris, especially in the summer. It would be a nice weather and culture change. But most importantly, I would get to walk on the old streets and not care about anything else than the beauty in front of my eyes. I had grown sick of the drama that occurred that year, even though it was a usual thing that followed being a teenager.

One of my friends Rainer had been begging me not to go, he wanted me to stick with our original plan and go to a concert. Wankelmut was the reason we even were friends. One day in school I had been whistled to one of their song and Rainer had heard me. He had recognized the melody and started to talk to me.

Even though he was one of Isa's friends, I was shocked. Firstly, he was a year older than me and we had never talked before that. He was kind of hot and let's be real, hot older guys didn't talk to me. And secondly the band wasn't well known and only had few fans. I was surprised that he out of everybody would like them as much as I did.

Our friendship only grew from there on. It started with us sending each other the songs we liked, and before we knew it we were talking all night about everything and anything.

And no, before you start thinking it I didn't have a crush on him. Our friendship was intimate and consisted of a mutual understanding of each other. It felt so easy to talk to him, everything just went so smoothly.

And then we found out that Wankelmut were going to have a concert in our city, in the summer. It couldn't get any better and we bought our tickets as soon as we could.