FEBRUARY 8 & 9, 2005
Ronnie and Dave are rushed onto the Pop World soundstage where Simon Amstell is waiting, talking animatedly to a producer. He'll be their host of the short interview, which has likely been cut even shorter thanks to their lateness. Simon, who is young and Ronnie suspects to be the same age as them, notices them immediately. He's excited to see them, then grows confused. Ronnie doesn't blame him.
Simon approaches them without a hello and focuses on Ronnie, "You're not Brandon."
"No, I'm Ronnie," he says. "The drummer."
Simon looks flabbergasted, "But I'm supposed to get Dave and Brandon."
"Well, you didn't," Ronnie smiles at him and he knows he's being too snarky and he should tone it down, but it's too early in the morning to care.
"Alright then, come on," Simon leads them to the lime green couches that sit in front of a pair of cameras. "I've got a lot of these to do today on a tight schedule, you know."
Dave speaks for the first time, "You'll see him tomorrow." He's quiet, likely due to having to get up early and the fact that he can be as awkward as Brandon when he wants to be.
"I'd better," Simon says. The small crew hushes as a cameraman calls for quiet on set, and the interview begins with little fanfare. It's the most rushed thing Ronnie has ever seen. "Dave and Ronnie of The Killers, welcome to the show!"
Ronnie turns up his charm since he knows he'll be doing most of the talking, "Thanks for having us."
"It's very lovely to have you here," Simon continues.
"It's lovely to be here."
"I was hoping for the lead singer Brandon but, you know, I'm sure we can- I'm sure you're very pleasant people."
God, Ronnie really hopes that this won't set a precedent for how the rest of this interview will go. He decides to make a joke, "Well Brandon and Mark are much better-you really did get the sour end of the bunch."
"Now what I heard is that you're Jo Whiley's favorite members," Simon says. "My favorite's Brandon but I'm still happy that you're here."
Ronnie figures that his best shot to steer the conversation elsewhere is to make Simon slightly uncomfortable. "You're a charming man," he says.
It works. Simon starts talking about some new song and not even Dave can figure out what he's on about. Simon can't not ask about Brandon, though, so he eventually tries again. At some point, Ronnie realizes that he's probably trying to get some dirt on why Brandon has failed to show up, likely because the press has been heating up recently.
"Now are you all Mormon or is that just Brandon?" He asks.
The question is so ridiculous that Ronnie has to laugh, "No, we're not all Mormon. Brandon was raised Mormon."
"Damn," Simon says, slightly defeated. "That's all I had. All I had were Mormon questions."
That statement strikes Ronnie as odd-either it's a bad joke or it's serious, which would mean that Brandon was about to be subjected to countless religious questions. "I mean, I have a lot of great friends who are Mormon-"
"Could you just-" Simon seems desperate. "I mean maybe, could we phone him?" Ronnie glances at Dave and laughs uneasily. "Could Brandon really not come?"
They decline to answer and the interview moves on and ends shortly after. Ronnie jokingly whacks the man with a pillow after he makes one too many puns about their band name and he somehow ends up on top of Simon during his fake attack. Simon makes a joke about how he wishes that it was Brandon instead. Ronnie is so done with the man's obsession that he backs off as soon as the interview is over.
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Hopeless Haze - Volume I: Hot Fuss (Remastered)
Romance"If Brandon cared, he would wonder if Ronnie was also deep in thought about something and has only just absentmindedly found something for his hands to play with. But as Ronnie runs his fingers through his hair, Brandon finds that he does not care a...
