The Ghost From The Past

Kabanata 2

Art is my emotions. Every smear of paint on my canvas speaks a thousand words. Every shape and color means something that I've always wanted to say.

And that's probably why I'm not close to my parents and don't have many friends. I don't know how to express my love and interest to others. I got used to keeping things by myself, and I don't like to socialize at all. I have low social battery and it drains me so much.

But I really want to change. My therapist told me to get out of my comfort zone so I'm trying to attend every family gatherings and parties. It's difficult but I'll get there.

I brushed my canvas using black paint for the finishing touch and I'm finally done. I stared at the piece I did for 3 days after I went to the museum.

It's the man or the ghost I saw at the museum.

Round black eyes, thin lips, arched eyebrows, small pointed nose, and medium complexion. These are the features I remembered the first time I saw him in my dreams. He's gorgeous.

I don't understand why he keeps appearing in my dreams ever since I saw him. This is not new to me because souls who want to communicate with me always appear in my dreams, it's just that he doesn't talk to me. He just stares at me until I wake up. Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto niyang gawin.

I feel like I have to go back to the museum to know what he wants. Pakiramdam ko rin ay konektado siya kay Maria Lianco. Is he Maria's lover? Did something happen to them for him to stay in the world of living for so long? I really have so many questions because I feel like he wants me to do something but he doesn't even talk.

I wanted to help him but I knew my mother won't allow me. My mom inherited the 3rd eye, too. But she chose to close it because of her profession. Halos sa ospital na siya tumitira at sinabi niya sa 'kin na hindi niya raw kaya makakita araw-araw.

That's the reason why I kept it open. Pamana ito ng Lola ko at ito nalang ang naiwan niyang alaala kaya sobrang halaga nito sa 'kin.

I stopped helping souls when my heart condition got worse. Mom said I should prioritize my health first. Napapansin ko na rin naman these days na mas madalas na ako manghina at mapagod. 3x a week na rin akong pabalik-balik sa ospital.

But I am really curious about this man. Lalo na at mukang konektado siya sa pintor na hinahangaan ko.

9 PM na pero gusto kong bumaba para makalanghap ng sariwang hangin. I went to my walk in closet and changed into sweater and pajamas. Pagkatapos ay lumabas na ako ng kwarto ko.

Naabutan ko si Kuya na nakatungo na sa couch at may libro na nakapatong sa lap. I sighed and took off his reading glasses and notes. Dahan-dahan ko siyang inihiga sa couch at kumuha ng comforter sa kwarto niya. Pagkatapos siyang lagyan ng comforter ay kinuha ko ang wallet ko at bumaba ng condo.

I inhaled the fresh air while walking. Sobrang ganda maglakad dito sa gabi. Kahit maraming building, marami rin puno at walang air pollution dahil sa mga sasakyan. Malinis din ang paligid. Safe din maglakad sa gabi kasi may mga nag iikot. This is the kind of city I want.

Dumaan muna ako sa convenience store para bumili ng ice cream. Pagkatapos ay pumunta ako sa park at umupo sa swing. Kakaunti nalang ang tao pero malayo ako sa kanila.

This. This is what makes my heart feel at ease. Dito ang takbuhan ko sa tuwing kailangan kong linawin ang utak ko.

2 years nalang bago ako maka-graduate. Until now I'm still not sure about my plans after college. My degree offers a lot of jobs that I'll surely enjoy. Pero wala manlang akong maramdamang excitement para sa future ko. Just thinking about working forever to make a living makes me tired already. Sana bago ako maka-graduate, tapos na ang therapy ko sa psychologist ko.