delicate | one shots

twenty seven reasons

[ Anthony hates his birthday but Five loves Anthony]

Anthony could only faintly remember the last time he had actually been excited for his birthday; it was his tenth, back when he was too naive and innocent to realize just how fucked up everything in his life really was. His mother didn't exactly hate him yet, and it was before his father had lost himself to his addictions, so his life was pretty okay then.

At that point in time he still had a relatively normal life; he went to school like any other kid, he had friends, he was actually happy in himself. His family was definitely overly religious, but he was too young to even comprehend what that would eventually mean for him. Anthony didn't care about much, simply existing and living the way any child would, and he always looked forward to his birthday.

His parents had given him a lego set for his tenth birthday and one of those Umbrella Academy action figures; he was almost certain it was Diego, but it wasn't like he ever had any interest in any of that, he never cared. Looking back now it was clear to him that they were obviously trying to change him into the he son they wanted, the person he was never really going to be, but he didn't see that.

Anthony's eleventh birthday was spent listening to his mother crying after his father had left again the night before. His father was back for his twelfth but he ended it with a black eye. His thirteenth was spent with his grandmother away from them. By his fourteenth people at school had began to realize that something was different about him, so he spent the day alone with his parents. On his fifteenth he spent it ditching school. He spent his sixteenth alone, and then his seventeenth, and eventually his eighteenth birthday at the Commission.

To say that Anthony didn't have fond memories of his birthday would be an understatement; the day only reminded him of everything bad and made him think of how no one had actually ever wanted him to be born in the first place, his parents had made that clear multiple times on the day. His birthday wasn't a good thing, it was only a reminder that no one even wanted him there to begin with.

He was twenty seven now, but he really didn't feel that old at all; a mixture between the younger body and all of the years just blurring together. Anthony wasn't sure if he felt young or old, partly feeling as if he was still a teenager and another part feeling as if he had already lived too long.

Anthony supposed he probably should've been grateful for the day, only seven months ago he had been dead and in the afterlife. He didn't feel grateful about it, missing the peacefulness of his time in there in a weird way. It was kind of funny, how his parents had lectured him too many times about the consequences of his sexuality and how he'd grow up to be in Hell, but none of that was ever even real.

As much as he could complain about his birthday and how much his life had sucked for the majority of his life so far, Anthony really couldn't deny that he was relatively happy in it now. He didn't have much, he didn't even have a family anymore, but at least he still had someone who loved him.

He had practically begged Five a couple of weeks ago to not do anything for his birthday, telling him how much he hated just the idea of it and about the memories it always brought up. Anthony had told him that even when they were back at Commission, expressing how it made him feel every year.

Five had tried to persuade him to do something, to at least let them take a trip away together for the weekend or go out somewhere just the two of them,
but Anthony had said no to everything he had suggested; he just wanted to stay at home and pretend the day didn't exist the way he had been doing for the last ten years of his life.