Margaret

Full story

Today I
lost
a friend.

Who knew it would be the
last
day I ever had with them.

Such crisp autumn air filled my lungs before they were able to adjust to the falling climate. I never liked autumn. It was always such a depressing season. Leaves falling, crops dying, weather dropping, animals hiding. Nothing good ever came from such a time. But Margaret loved this weather. It was her favorite time of year. Every single autumn she would drag us out to all of the different pumpkin patches and scenic roads. We'd have s'mores by a fire and tell ghost stories until the middle of the night.

Margaret really, really loved autumn.

This autumn it was not different. Except for maybe the fact that most of our friends had moved away to seek better opportunities. Some left for school, others moved for their job or loved one. Really it made me detest the season all the more. Why was it that everything always disappeared when the season grew colder? Who decided that this time of year was the best for all these outdoor things when even nature itself seemed to have been denying the change? It was stupid. But Margaret kept herself up high. She continued to drag me everywhere and honestly, I didn't really mind it. She was all I had left of the friend group after all. It was just the two of us.

That made her even more special.

Today as my lungs were gasping for air we were out seeing the autumn leaves from the mountains near our house. Supposedly people came from all over the world to see these scenes but I rarely saw anyone here. On our way up she talked and talked about how she wished everyone could be here with us. I nodded along. I missed them, they were important but autumn did what autumn does best, and stole everything. Still, like always Margaret was the optimist. Always with a head in the clouds, full of hopes and dreams.

I sometimes wished I could be like her.

Without many people around it didn't take us long to get to the view. We never went to the top or close to the edge, that was dangerous. The last thing anyone needed was for two people to be hurt in the mountains where no one might come for a while. Busy or not during this season, it was still a mountain. Even from our spot it was beautiful anyways. The colors, the blowing leaves, the birds migrating; it was easy to see the beauty now. I hated fall but I could appreciate the beauty. My opinion remained the same though because we saw it every year. Margaret still gasped and awed though. She grabbed my arm and showed me all the tiny details I had already noticed. It was like magic to her. But eventually the magic, like all things in autumn, had to fade away.

And then she said, "I have to leave next autumn for college."

My body tenses at those words as she gripped my arm so tight. It was then the view which I had just recounted as beautiful, even magical to some, suddenly deteriorated. Leave? For college? There was a school nearby. I plagued her with questions, and asked them repeatedly. Margaret, the woman who loved this cursed season, just kept saying the same things. She wanted to experience the world. She wanted to see what everything had to offer. Even with remorse in her eyes she was still full of optimism. How? How could she?

As always, autumn made everything die away.

Of course she would tell me here, in a place where no one would hear. It was a little spot to ourselves. Where the crisp wind rustled the leaves and the animals had already fled to their caves for the winter. I was left with no choice. There was nothing to say. I never expected Margaret to leave. She loved it here. Margaret was a loving soul. A happy woman who wanted nothing but to enjoy life with those she loved. When everyone left I was scared but never expected her to leave too. What could I even say? My heart was broken. But Margaret wouldn't want me to be sad. I didn't like making her sad.

And so I said, "ok." It was not ok.

Though when I finally turned to see her face, her eyes were beaming with life. Unlike the scene around us she was so lively and full of light. Margaret thanked me for minutes, happy I could understand. She talked on and on about how when everyone came back we should come to this spot in autumn again. For some reason she said it would be more special that way. There was a bit about how change was good, but honestly I didn't even hear that part. I just turned away from her and stared at the trees with the town below.

She was happy. How dare she be happy about this.

Margaret's arm tore me from my thoughts as it pulled me back to the mountain path. With the sun beginning to set I could tell what the pull was for. It was time to go our separate ways. Of course she already was talking about what we would do tomorrow. It was her favorite time of year after all. But I was still hung up about what was spoken in the moments that had past. I would be alone. The only left in this accursed town with seasons I don't even like. I wouldn't do this again next year. For the first time ever I couldn't let it go. I couldn't forgive what this season had done.

I couldn't forgive her for wanting to leave me.

As we walked down the path my fists began to tighten. Her words became like the whispers of the ghosts in those stupid halloween movies. The path became smaller and clearly she had taken the faster way down. Obviously it was because of the time. There was something about running late. I did not catch it. Margaret leaving was all that I focused on. Margaret. Margaret. Margaret. Why was she leaving me? Why was she so happy? Wasn't she going to miss me? Why did she have to go at fall?

"Be careful xxxx. The rocks might fall," she said.

Margaret's voice was sweet and when I finally looked up from the grips I held within my angry mind her hand was extended out towards mine. She was smiling so sweetly, the light within the decaying season. I did not grab her hand, rather I asked her to tell me how much she loved fall. Then the light shined even more bright. Margaret talked and talked and talked. She talked so much she forgot about me and dropped her arm to turn around to walk. Like with her leaving, she forgot about what I needed. She forgot about me. I didn't forget how she offered to help me though. And so against her back I extended my hand.

Like the rocks, and the season, she fell.

We never went to the top because of how dangerous it was. There were also never many people despite how popular it was. What a shame it would be if we got hurt. No one would come to help us. This was always what we said. It was always why we never went a way that was dangerous unless we had to. Today we were running late. Today we had to go a risky way. Poor Margaret. Margaret had gotten hurt. The rocks had fallen away. She was out of my reach. The rocks made it that way. Now she matched the leaves which had touched the ground. She matched the cold wind which chilled you. She matches the animals which hid away under the boulders of the mountain. Margaret was not breathing. But I was happy: now she could never go away.

Today I
lost
a friend.

Who knew it would be the
last
day I ever had with them.

Like the season she
loved
she had fallen away.